Why is this pain so hard to carry,
A place , a person, a thing
My questions change ,
I lay here wondering,
Am I even allowed to grieve myself
Am I allowed to grieve a death inside of me
How could it be?
A person who took my soul and wiped it clean, could make me feel the same like they all do.
Was i so wrong,
Was i so worthless
Maybe that’s why it happened to me,
Maybe I was worthless to be here.
Maybe all this while you were right
There’s nothing special about me
There’s nothing i have worth sharing
It isn’t affection, it isn’t anything
But blame me if you may for wanting things to be less suffocated
All i want is
All i need is
To find somebody like you used to be.
I do wonder was any of it real at all
Or were you insulting me all along
It isn’t needed,
I can do that well on my own
I have been told I’m worthless
I’ve been shown I’m worthless in many ways
You don’t need to say it.
I own it.
I own being useless
A waste of space in this earth
All this while i thought maybe I have something worthwhile to share with the world
Turned out I’m as much of a trash as you make me feel
As much of a joke as you make me feel.
I wish I could do something
But i can’t
And that is my story.
I can never do something.
