Why You Should Never Call Women Females…
I must admit, as I’m starting to jot these words down, I feel a little silly for writing this type of article. Not in an uncomfortable way, but in a way where I figure that all men should realize that there are plenty of great words to describe those of the female gender without demeaning us.
Yet, I know, there are bunches of men out there that do not realize that calling a woman a female is degrading and utterly wrong. Let me start at what sparked this to be written down…
It was a Thursday. Much like any other Thursday in my office. My coworker who sits next to me is beautiful and intelligent in every way. We make calls to business owners quite often and on this particular Thursday I cringed on one particular call.
A businessman spoke to me for a few hours and then said, “ I’m sorry, but I’m not going to buy advertisements from you. It’s not that you didn’t do a great job explaining it or anything against you. I see how this can benefit me, but I’m just not one to advertise. The only reason I spoke to you for so long is because you’re easy to talk to. If it makes you feel better I haven’t spoken to a female who wasn’t my sister, mother or customer for this long in over two years.”
I cringed not only because I wasn’t getting the sale, but because he called me a female. I thought to myself, “ No wonder he hasn’t. If he keeps calling us females like this he is going to be single forever…” Of course, I couldn’t tell him that. So I simply laughed it off uncomfortably and said, “ I guess it does, but this really would benefit your business. I will send you some case studies. Get back to me if you’re interested in starting up the program.”
I paused for a moment after my call. I had heard the word female used as a euphemism for the word “ b**ch” in rap songs on the radio or clean albums. Because they couldn’t us a derogatory term they chose females as the more PG version of it. Still it’s just as degrading and wrong, but apparently some people don’t see it that way.
I also thought about some of my friends who I had told to stop using female in place of woman or lady. They quite honestly didn’t realize it was degrading. I thought about the the billions of times I had heard the word female used in place of something more appropriate and empowering. Then for a split second I though that perhaps I was wrong. Maybe it was my point of view on the word. After all, some people hate the word moist. It might be something like that.
So I turned to my coworker and said, “ I hate it when men call us females.” She immediately responded, “ Me too! It’s demeaning. I don’t know if they realize it but it seems like they are objectifying us. Like we’re a plant or inanimate object or something.” I nodded my head in agreement and we went back to making phone calls and sending out emails.
It finally hit me that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. I had just met my coworker the other week ,as I had changed teams, and she felt the exact same way. Objectified is the correct word.
When a man or anyone uses the word female in place of woman or lady it’s objectifying us. It’s as if they don’t even think of us being on the same level as them. That could also be why it’s used in place of more derogatory words in popular music. I wouldn’t say “ WOW, you’re the only male I have spoken with in two years besides my father.”
First off, it doesn’t sound proper or educated. Secondly, it’s demeaning. I’m thinking of the person as just a person with an XY chromosome ( that’s basically what I would be saying) not an actual human being or equal.
While I’m more keen on people saying things like “I haven’t had such a great conversation with a delightful woman in years” opposed to “ I haven’t spoken to a female for this long in years…” I can understand that to uneducated or even socially awkward people they may not have the eloquence to say the correct sentence above. That’s okay. I’m telling you now. You could say something like “ You’re so delightful to talk to…I haven’t spoken to a woman like you in years.” You could even not describe our gender at all. You could say, “ This was the best conversation I have had with someone in years.”
I’m sure you can see it sounds much better and less degrading. Gentlemen in the world, this is my plea, please stop using the word female to describe us. Females or female is something that is best left for checks on a doctors visit box or government form. Maybe even an application for a position in a company. However, it shouldn’t be used in social settings.
It’s degrading at the worst and at the very best it makes you sound uneducated and socially awkward. We both know that you are capable of so much more. Don’t think of us as a plant or object. Think of us as your counterparts, your equals. We have feelings and thoughts too, but when you describe us as females it makes it seem as if we don’t.
