I am drawn to this story. One piece of this “thing” that I haven’t heard expressed “is so what? Really, after all , it’s over , she’ll heal , be ok have children get it on with boy friend, lover, husband, wife ,SO….. It’s not like the victim is forever changed / she was unconscious or can't remember ….. What’s the big deal?”
It’s a big deal. When a child is abused and they are too young to “remember” or talk about it does that mean it’s ok? NO. If a person is raped and there is no outward sign of damage (wounds, scars) does that mean they don’t feel dirty, useless , like they don’t matter? NO
If you feel like you are basically a flawed, worthless, piece of meat/excrement/object for the rest of your life does that affect the way you live your life and relate to family, spouse, boss, peers, children, minister , etc. …….. yes
Do you attend workshops, go on missions, read a lot about a lot, pick up and drop different life styles/disciplines, avoid religion/embrace church, drink a lot/abstain from all chemicals, learn to ride a motorcycle fast/ become a safety freak , always looking for proof that you are a worthy human…….yes
Do you also go the extra step work over time, holidays, skip vacations , says yes when you mean no, push push til you hit a wall and crumble, get locked up to work on your problem, dig deep into your past with therapist (many) and still hide it…………..yes ,yes. You do that and more.
This is what you do. How long does it take? I’ll have to get back to you on that, 50 years and counting. I only brought it out of that dark box a few months ago. I’m 67.