Why Don’t You Do Something? Living with a Hoarder 101
I can’t stop thinking about the parakeets. I saw an article recently about an excessive drop off at a Michigan animal shelter of more than 500 parakeets that had been raised by an animal hoarder. [1]The parakeets were crammed into as many cages as the man’s son could find to remove them from his father’s house.
I often think about how paralyzed I felt in the face of my husband’s hoarding behavior. My cleaning efforts were met with scorn and hostility laced with criticism for not being perfect. It ground me down, and I stopped caring about his areas, which, over time, spilled over into much of the house, and they brought infestations of insects and mice with them.
People told me what I should do about it:
Tell him no.
Set boundaries.
Keep kitchen counters clear. Try keeping the sink clear.
Throw out garbage.
None of these things worked. Most of them, he would not let me do, and boundaries were, so to speak, off the table. Literally, as things often slid to the floor and were left to become part of the grime.
