Secrets of a Prison Wife — Why do I stay?… When one comes across a Prison Wife people ask “why do you stay”? Unless you are a prison wife you will probably never understand.
So you ask, why do i stay, well lets see…its not so easy to explain, but when you love someone you don’t leave. When you get married you vow to take for better or worse, in sickness or in health, however it seems like most seem to walk once it comes to incarceration. Not sure why so many who take vows walk once their spouse becomes incarcerated.
It takes a strong woman to deal with this life… not seeing your spouse every day, getting timed and recorded calls, visits through glass or visits that require you to go through extensive security measures and sometimes sniffed out by a dog to enter a room for a few hours that could be filled with many others just to see your spouse. During those visits there is little actual contact- a kiss and hug once he enters the visiting room and a kiss and hug once he leaves visiting room. Anything more is at your risk and puts you in possibility of getting in shit. So why do we stay?
As a Prison Wife i can say we stay cuz we love too much too give up. We go through the hell that may follow- the moodiness that follows when apart for too long, the sadness that comes with not seeing your spouse or being next to them everyday. The stress that comes that can often be followed with accusations. So why does one stay through all this?
The answer is simple… LOVE!!
Love makes us do things we would never expect until we are faced with this situation. Many say they would never do it. Many say they could not do it but til you faced with this situation you can’t say “NEVER”.
While there are days in this life that involve sadness, tears and stress which stem from being away from your loved one, feelings of worry which often come from days of no calls which you later find out is result of a lockdown, despite all the tough and rough Shit there is some good.. The letters they send, the good phone calls and the visits-especially if it’s a visit where you can hug. There is nothing better than being in their arms of your loved one even if just for a few moments.
We stay because the love we share is too great. The love we share is stronger than most and we know that we can survive anything together. When i entered into this life i knew it would not be easy, but i knew our love would survive and get us through. I knew love we share is one most don’t have and nothing would break it. Some search years to find a love so strong. I stay cuz i love him regardless of where he is. I would rather go through all the hell incarceration brings then live life without him because i love him like no other. The chaos we endure is worth it in the end when they finally come home.
There is no simple way to explain why we stay with a man locked up behind bars and most would never understand with even the simplest explanation.
In all reality our men are human. They deserve love and support even if incarcerated. Far too often people judge inmates and forget that they have a family, maybe kids. They are someone’s child, parent, grand child or spouse. Its easy to judge but hard to remember that they are people too and we stay cuz we love them, we vowed to stick by them through better or worse. Incarceration is the worst and one only a strong woman can survive through. But when you truly love someone you do all you can for them cuz the love you share is greater than anything else.
This is why i stay…i rather go through all the hard stuff with my spouse than live my life without him in it. That is Love 💓 and why we stay.

