While I agree everything you say in this essay is true, Emma, I think you’re cutting men way too much slack. This is likely a very accurate diagnosis of the emotional dysfunction behind rape, but ending rape and rape culture has got to start with men taking stark, 100% responsibility, and being held 100% accountable, for their own actions. How a guy feels is irrelevant. NOTHING justifies physically violating another human being. Period. If you’re really that emotionally messed up, guys (and I’m a guy, so I feel justified saying this), take it out on yourself, not a woman in your life, or even weaker males around you. Get help. Or kill yourself to avoid damaging others. I’m sure that sounds cold, but that’s the fact of it. Suicide is preferable to rape. Every time there’s a mass shooting in this country that ends with the shooter killing himself (and it’s always HIM)I hear people saying, “I wish the guy had killed himself first, instead of taking out all those innocent people…” And they’re right. If you’re that messed up, killing yourself first to spare others would be a virtuous choice. Rape is not different. Rape culture will end when our society recognizes that rape and murder are equivalent crimes. They deserve equal punishment. You wrote about incentives built into the system. If men knew the likely consequence of rape was execution or life imprisonment, I think many, many fewer men would cross that line, no matter how drunk they, or the women around them, are in the moment. You don’t hear about a “campus culture of murder.” That’s because the drunkest, most emotionally imbalanced men for the most part recognize that line and don’t cross it. Rape should be held to the same standard.