Few choose to talk about their work on birthday. I’m among the few.
You might still remember that for a long time, I was pretty upset whether I could eventually get a job, not to mention landing on a highly-paid, prestigious one. My classmates themselves, however, didn’t think their employment would be a problem at all, and things all went as they had expected. It’s just the third year at university (for some, it’s even the first or second year), but some smartest and most EQ-capable ones already began their day by checking emails at top floors of the most luxurious and dazzling skyscrapers in the city, making no difference from a Fortune 500 CEO. And more often than not, they would post some pictures after work, of their favorite bubble tea, together with their nicely decorated cubicles and masked employee ID cards.
What was my situation then? Miserable. I did not earn many awards, had no certification like CFA, and didn’t bother to volunteer at nearby museums or care centers on weekends. My peers? Fabulous: early starters, award winners, broad interpersonal network (from their parents), etc. etc.. Even getting a job offer did not make me as happy as it’s supposed to do, because the offer was not comparable to others’ at all.
But I have no other choice, do I? I was desperate for employment at that time, and I could not live up with the uncertainty of applying for another any more. I was also clear that in business there is not much place for mercy, and I need to get things done.
Thinking back then, I was lucky enough to have my own standard higher than the company’s, in terms of work. If the company simply asked for some code that could accomplish a task, I would ensure it would not contain any redundancy, and I may optimize the package for best performance. I would always test my model for well-grounded support, and I would never allow an unproved hypothesis to go into production. I would deliver a best-effort result to coworkers, at the same time I could guarantee my best effort would always be above their expectation. Strangely, when I did all these, I no longer felt I was just an outsider of the company, instead, with my colleagues, I became part of the team. Every time the stock went up, my work was among those that could be accredited to.
As I was about to leave the job, everyone in the office received a book. I thanked my manager for his trust on me, also the autonomy he provided. I felt grateful that when I was nothing more than a blank piece of paper, he helped me realizing my unlimited potential. My colleagues, they began to enjoy sharing their stories with me, and we were making the office a pleasant and vibrant community. Also the first-ever farewell party and farewell talk for an intern. Much to appreciate. Nothing to complain.
That’s the lesson I learned from my first employment. For a moment I felt left behind (and I was). For a moment I would admire other people’s success. For a moment I was desperate because I had no idea of when the darkness would be all over. But the fact is, none of these will be forever. Their success, they are there at their time, and I will have my own when my time comes. The time can be long. Yes. I know the journey can be suffering too. Even for now the end of torture I can see nowhere, but it must be somewhere, for sure. It awaits you, and it is meant to surprise you when you expect miracles to be most impossible. On the day it does come, its beauty has never worn off. Everything prepared before that is going to make life richer and more precious. That’s what real life is.
I’m now turning twenty one. In many ways I’m behind. But no hurry. I’m still on it, just in my own way, on my own time.
Follow the schedule of my heart. Best birthday present at twenty one.
