Letter to the Editor

This story was originally published at The Gentleman at Large

Dear Editor of My Local Newspaper [readership: affluent, white],

I’m writing now to say that I saw something the other day, and I didn’t like it. You see, when I moved here seven years ago [from Portland, or San Diego or something], I liked the way things were. They suited me. That was back when this place was like it used to be, before, when things were new and exciting for me personally. It was back when many of my local experiences conformed to and validated my worldview. Back when it was great. Not like now. This place is terrible now. Just look at that thing I saw the other day!

You see, after I moved here, other people [younger/ethnic, possibly both] moved here too. Where do they get off, anyway!? When I first got here this was my own personal playground. I had the whole place to myself to pursue my favorite esoteric hobby, but now every time I go outside other people are outside too. Do you believe that? All those other people should do what I did, and find their own place to go. We need to stop all these people from moving here now that I’ve finally built my dream home [in the urban-forest interface].

Really, it comes to to respect. Kids these days just don’t get it. It used to be that we stood for something. Like free love, and Jerry Garcia, and spitting on soldiers returning from war. Now these kids just want free jobs that they don’t event want to work for! Do you believe that? All this whining is just getting old. If they really wanted jobs, they’d make them for themselves. Like I did. But I digress.

The main issue at hand here is that many of the things I occasionally see make me uncomfortable, and I hate being uncomfortable.

This is why I’m advocating for this sweeping policy change. Things are changing and I don’t like it. People are moving here, and their interests are different from mine. It hurts my feelings, and my feelings are the most important thing to me. They should be equally important to you. I base most of my decisions on my feelings, and I feel like the city council should too. Instead they’ll probably just raise taxes again, so that poor people can move here and live on my hard work. Where does it stop!?!

If we don’t act now, people might keep moving here even though I already like it the way it is. Or rather, the way it was.


A Baby Boomer

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