Where did he go?
The car was nowhere to be seen. I was perplexed, but not surprised. I walked in the house to greet the dog, who was the only being inside as well. He’ll be back any minute, surely.
Sure enough, a few minutes later the car came around the bend with a low, stout grumble in the quiet, suburban street. The square headlights could be seen first, before the sharp, boxy edges of the silhouette turned to reveal the rear of the car donned with the clever license plate — “Zuffen.” He backed into the top of the long driveway then switched the 5-liter V8 off.
Porsche is the holy grail of automakers. Few car enthusiasts would argue with their superiority in the sports car segment — even those that are less engaged with the automotive world know a Porsche when they see one. It would be hard to imagine a world without the iconic brand.
There was a time, though, where they almost ceased to exist. Poor leadership combined with uncertain economic times had Porsche on its heels at the edge of a cliff. Their factories were inefficient, meaning their building costs were far exceeding the incoming revenue from their products, despite the premium pricing.
In the meantime, other carmakers were flourishing. Toyota broke into the American market, quickly establishing a reputation for practicality and reliability. BMW had found a niche with their E30 M3, a vehicle that was succeeding among consumers and on the track. Mercedes, known for their luxury, felt like it needed to catch up in the performance segment. So they called Porsche.
Porsche, tired of the Japanese sniffing around their factories and reorganizing all their parts bins, answered. Mercedes had some body parts that needed to be assembled with a particular touch. So, they packed a couple boxes labeled “Mail to: Zuffen c/o those other German guys” and Porsche went to work. They sent back a body frame in one piece, which Mercedes painted and inserted their M119 5.0L V8. After returning to Porsche for some final touches, Mercedes received their first true competitor in the sports sedan segment — the W124 500E.
Shutting off the engine was a mistake. After multiple sputters, we rolled it down to the bottom of the driveway, where the engine would sit flat instead of at an angle. Was it the battery? No, it had just been run around the block, which surely gave it enough juice to get started again. Was it the fuel pump, maybe the filter? Unlikely, as that was replaced (only) ten thousand miles ago. Had it been sitting for so long that a rodent had mistaken the engine bay for shelter? I did not volunteer to find the answer to that one.
Thankfully, we didn’t have to. After sitting for a few minutes, the V8 sputtered again, then finally came back to life. The 16 inch wheels, wrapped in lightly used Michelin PS Super Sports, supported the well-kept dark gray exterior. This particular example also sported the boxier Euro-spec headlight assemblies, rather than the rounded off version found in most American market vehicles.
I finally slid into the driver’s seat — still plush and undoubtedly designed for a trip down the Autobahn, even after 30 years. The A/C blew strong, but was thankfully unnecessary on this particular summer day, so it was left off to save the engine’s power for the road. Getting a sense of my surroundings was easy as the visibility was superb.
Finally, the 500E was moving. The steering was heavy. These cars were built with a steering system based on a circulation ball rather than a rack and pinion, supposedly left out to leave adequate room for the V8. But once it was up to speed and taking on some corners, the car almost felt glued to the ground. There was no little to no body roll from the aging suspension. Porsche’s performance DNA was evident and Mercedes’s luxury engineering shone through.
Merging onto the highway, I shifted the car down from “D” to “3” and instantly the engine increased its revolutions, feeling much more eager. Allegedly, some hurried overtakes were performed at this point. Man, this machine was in its happy place — it was begging me to (allegedly) continue that vein of driving for miles on end.
We pulled back into the driveway, parking it on level ground and shutting the engine off. After some much needed TLC and a few months of testing the market, this particular 500E now has a new owner. The buyer flew 500 miles one way, eager to drive that distance back. I’m sure the car was more than willing to oblige. While Porsche and Mercedes are unlikely to ever collaborate in this manner again, every driver of this 500E is damn pleased that they did.
