I was approached by a friend of mine few weeks ago regarding his business. He owns a personal training/massage therapy company and wanted some advice on client retention and being able to develop a good connection with his client base. While he is new in the industry, this trainer is a very talented and knowledgeable person, who is passionate about his job which I can see in the way he approaches his continuous learning and growth — which is why it was a shock to me when he approached me with these questions as I would have never predicted him having these problems.

Our conversation:

“Dude you know I absolutely love this job. I mean, it has its ups and downs but there’s nothing else I would rather do than training people and helping them change their lives. So I don’t want you to think that I’m getting sick of this job at all”

“Oh not all. I don’t think that for a minute. In fact you wouldn’t be here if you were getting sick of it”.

“Yeah well, to cut a long story short, I’m losing clients, and I don’t know why. I’m training them the way you should. I’m helping them achieve their goals. I try to connect with them as much as I can. I think we are have a good relationship and then BANGGG…suddenly I get a text saying, “I’m thinking about training on my own for a while”.

Now for the first few people who said that, I just thought to myself that I’m just doing my job so well that these guys know what they need to so they feel that they can train on their own, which is fair enough, but then it started happening more and more often. Before I knew it, I was left with only a handful of clients”.

“Woah, that’s hard to deal with man…”

“Yeah, well I just wanted to know how you deal with client retention because I know that when you did personal training you were able to hold on to 30-40+ clients for years right? I just wanted to know how you did that.”

“Well dude, it’s simple and it has nothing to do with how good of a coach you are.”

“Huh?”

“Obviously it helps but you need to first become a good person who is genuinely invested in their clients’ goals and dreams. Now, I used to think that being invested and caring about a person’s goals meant that I need to do everything I can to help them achieve their goal with their health and fitness, which is obviously a big part of it. What I didn’t realise, which I had to learn the hard way just like you, was that being invested is so much more than just helping them achieve their fitness and health goals.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I’ll be honest with you — your clients are leaving you because you don’t connect with them on an emotional level. You think you are connecting, but the reality is that this connection is a two way street and you aren’t holding up your end of the bargain. You say that your clients are really open to you but how open are you to them? You cannot expect your clients to open up about their lives, share with you their deepest darkest secrets and tell you all their failures and mistakes if you are not willing to do that same. So don’t be surprised by the sudden disappearances of your clients because that’s simply due to you not connecting with them.”

“This all sounds horseshit man. I’m not a psychologist. I’m a personal trainer. We are here to just train people and help them get fitter. Deepest darkest secrets? What deepest darkest secrets?”

“My friend you are so wrong in your thought, thinking that we are not psychologists. Yes we are not qualified, but we might as well be, for the amount of emotional, mental and physical changes we demand from our clients. You think you don’t ask your clients for their darkest secrets? What do you think you are asking when you lecture them about their Saturday night binge? What do you think you are asking when you talk to them about them not coming to gym because they don’t feel up to it or feel lazy? You may not know it, but you’re trying to change people’s mental behaviours and how they think, feel and behave not only towards themselves but also how they react towards the rest of the world.

“So when you wonder that why your clients don’t respond very well to your questions or why your clients don’t tell you anything? Why they don’t tell you about their injuries, their mistakes, their failures, their successes and their life? Well ask yourself this question first — DO YOU?”