Learning and growing (1.0): Running
About a year ago, I took my first baby step towards a fitness journey which to this day is ongoing. I do not write this as an expert obviously, neither have I accomplished what I set out for. But somehow I feel it might be worth sharing the growth I attained through this process, so far.
When I went on my first run after nearly a decade last year, I was accompanied by one of my favorite boys (who will soon be commissioned in the Indian Navy as an officer later this year) who felt its okay to indulge in my fantasy of running long distances again. He of course didn’t know that I used to run long distances in school. However, it made no distance because it was ancient history, and I was starting from scratch. I had no endurance, I had low energy levels, both mental and physical health was to the dogs. But one thing I did have was grit. Maybe not a lot, but still enough to keep me in the process. So for a week we did what you can hardly call as training, after which I had to join work again.
One challenge with the kind of work I do for a living is that it blocks a lot of your time, during and outside your hours of work. Its not like I don’t like what I do, I love it. It has its own bittersweet experiences at times, sure. But what profession doesn’t? And I think that’s one of the most important questions to answer. If you’re dissatisfied from what you do for most of the time of the day, you definitely need to introspect. I did that too, and took decisions which eased a few things in life. However, eventually you’ll have to devote most of your time to work, and seek to draw value out of it. Never let anyone tell you that your job is worthless because you don’t have time, or you should be making more money. You may have your own reasons, but never let someone else dictate you one. That is plain torture, and make sure you avoid anyone who speaks such things to you. They don’t know who you are, only you know who you are.
Coming back to the story, after that one week I started running even more. Some runs were good, some were not. But I just ended up loving it more every single day. But that is not enough. As Angela Duckworth has rightly said, “Its about doing what you love. But not just falling in love, its about staying in love.” So I stayed in love with running, until one day soon enough it broke my heart. Only 2 months into the process (running being the process, and also the cause for heartbreak) I ended up having another one of those conversations with my life coach which will kind of change the way I look at life yet again. (For context, my life coach for more than a decade now has been an extremely close family friend, Grp. Capt. Abhishek Asthana. Yes, a senior Air Force officer is behind almost all the guidance I have had, both personally and professionally.)
The heartbreak came when I fell sick with an excruciating stomach pain. When he came to know about it, his first reflex was that I’m stressed. I said I’m not, in fact I run X Kms a day now for a healthy routine. Which is when he exclaimed that why am I running so much, I’m a mathematician, not an athlete. The later breakdown of the problem revealed that because I’m strictly setting time out to run, despite a busy work-schedule, I’m doing more harm than good. That is where the first learning came to light.
Working out just for the sake of working out is not healthy. Neither physically, nor mentally.
A couple of months after that I did go on to run a 10K distance at the Delhi Half Marathon, with a personal best timing of about 68 minutes. I trained less, but I trained more mindfully now. Mindfulness in fact was still a concept I was not fully aware of back then, however that was the first time I was able to look a little clearly beyond the fog of what I thought to be my fitness journey.
Fitness has apparently become an extremely misunderstood concept. Most of our understanding of fitness has been constructed by the capitalistic, and consumer devouring industry which runs now. If you have a goal to have a six or an eight pack abs, its absolutely fine. But how do you know if its healthy for you or not? You cannot even comprehend the physical and mental cost it will come for until you have already spent a lot on it. But how much is it worth building that body just for your instagram feed?
You cannot weigh fitness simply on physical standards. Mental health is the other part of the fitness process.
The biggest problem with social media/industry defined fitness standards are, you’ll either never achieve them, or they will not be as fulfilling or sustainable as you thought they will be. While chasing all of that, you would already have invested so much time, money, and energy that you will simply blame yourself, and move on with it. All of this will come at a mental cost which might take months to be paid off.
Its important to have goals, but its crucial to know that you’re there for the process and not the result. You might not get the result, or you might not be able to strive that far. So if you did not learn anything from the moments, you’re doing it wrong. You need to learn about yourself every step of the way. This is not supposed to imply that I’m against your fitness routine. But if there is more to your life than those couple hours and diet you’re on, its good to be more mindful of the reality. Not to forget, all our bodies are unique bags of chemicals. And there is no one-size-fits-all technique to fitness.
As Brad Pitt says in Moneyball, “Its a process. Its a process. Its a process.” Learn from the process, and don’t set long term expectations. For in the long run, we are all dead. (Don’t mind the Baseball to Economics jump there.) Fitness is more about how you feel, every breathing moment. Again, both mentally, and physically. Answer the question about what you seek, only then will your quest be meaningful. Fitness journeys are an extremely personal experience. So never let your goals be dictated by anyone else. Although if you have a coach, listen to him/her.
For next part in this series you may follow the link below:
“2.0: Maiden Half Marathon” https://link.medium.com/uPyvgqPPU9
I’ll probably try to write more on running and yoga in the coming days, as a continuation to this post. Your thoughts on this piece are most welcome.
