A COMPLETE WASTE OF YOUR TIME.
Upon once, it happened at a time, in a third-world kingdom,
There lived an obvious closet-homosexual Prince.
he was friendly to all, loved by many, adored by the ladies and he had no enemy (I am a daytime rapper).
When he started to grow a beard and he was of age to wed(this one wasn’t intentional), his father urged him to get married to the finest woman in the kingdom to bare him handsome heirs.
The boy was unhappy, he was not interested in women, all he wanted was the love of a man. but he can’t say this to his father
He is a Prince, his father has always looked forward to having grandchildren and he needs to have a heir to keep the kingdom under his family’s rule, he will only bring pain and disappointment to his family
So he devices a plan to find a queen who will bare children for him without needing constant intercourse and the need for him to play the role of a loving husband.
One day, He secretly goes on a horseride around the land, disguised as an old man.
He stumbled on a family who he took keen interest in because he noticed that they consisted of 7 girls who were all playing “chase-the-chicken”,
He came to them and pleaded for water, then came A very fair maiden with tiny eyes, a finely shaped moustache and biceps the size of a WWE wrestler, she had a smile like roses, when he looked at her what came to mind was plantain.
She gave him water, as he drank and coughed, he asked for her name, and she replied ” Vanessa”.
she assisted him back on his horse and he rode off, waving to the very ripped maiden.
Back home, He told his ward, Obi, about Vanessa the girl he met who had a moustache,
Obi doesn’t know the prince is gay, so to find out that a girl with a moustache attracted the Prince surprised him
But he overlooked it, because he was lost in the Prince’s charm
Prince is very charming.
2 weeks later, a compulsory pageant was called, for all the women of the kingdom to attend,
All the women danced and sang to entice the Prince, some flipped bottles, some came with good ideas to improve the kingdom and were jeered off..
Then Vanessa came into the spotlight, rubbing her hairy legs and her oiled buff body, she began to dance, at least it looked like a dance, she swayed and jumped and looked like she was convulsing at a point, the crowd were confused, an awkward silence in the dome
But the Prince was starstruck
His smile was glaring with love, he felt a heavy pound in his heart every time she caressed the tip of her moustache
She wasn’t even done with her rain dance when He ran on stage, jumped on her as she caught him and carried him like a baby she was about to rock to sleep, then they kissed
Much to the surprise of the people, but they cheered anyway, because they loved the Prince and had no right to question his decision.
That night they got married, and after all the celebrations, food and jibijaba, they met in the other room, a silence in the dark as the two newly weds were about to discover each other
the Prince broke the silence by first apologizing, he told her he was gay and initially only intended to marry her out of social conformity and make her swear to not disclose his secret while he hooked up with other guys, but as time grew he began to fall in love with her, mostly because of her masculine features, but, he is sure it is love, true love.
She was shocked and touched by his honesty, a little tear fell from her eye, and before it could roll too far down, he licked it
A romantic gesture which was somehow a weird turn on for her as she grabbed him against the wall, they kiss wildly, two moustaches rubbing against each other, they started undressing in a rather dramatic aggressive manner, his shirt, her wig, his trouser, her dress and as he took off her underwear, low and behold, A PENIS
she had a penis, a finely crafted one, Big, firm and zenithal. (I like to go into details)
He looked at her, the art of eye contact at it’s finest, more in love now, as he slowly went down
(The camera shifts away to not reveal what is going on but we know, because we are not kids)
A year later, she bears a male child, and the prince names him “HUGH GARETH SHAWN” at the naming festival,
An odd name, the people are confused (again) by this, but they cheer still.
Later that night, as he lay on her chest, she asks “babe, why did you give our son such an inane name?”
He chuckles, and looks up to the ceiling in a manner like he was about to blow her mind with the most logical explanation of the century.
Then he goes “Because if you read the name out loud very quickly, it would sound like “HUGE ERECTION”
And that’s what happened to me, the day I set my eyes on you”.
She blushes at her romantic and ever so clever Prince.