Olivia Wilde shouldn’t be directing a Marvel movie. Here’s why. — Now is not the time to tell people that a rare piece of good news is actually bad news, but allow me to be King Asshole for a moment, won’t you? Here is the good news in question: A few weeks ago, Deadline reported that Olivia Wilde was signing to…

A lot of people don’t know this, but there are exactly 38 kinds — Abusive parents Plastic surgeons who get three stars or less on Yelp Men livestreaming from the driver’s seat Evangelicals no longer interested in pretending Boaters operating their boats without any official license or instruction “Khaki dads” Tiger Kings Washed-up comedians Toppled statues Cops who learned all their best practices from…

College administrators are busy covering their own asses and blaming students instead of protecting them — You knew that America’s colleges weren’t gonna give up the gravy train that easily. The U.S. Covid-19 infection rate is dropping but is still alarmingly high, to the point where sending any child to any school is still a fraught proposition. This would have been a perfect time to kill…

The Democratic National Convention is just one example of things better experienced at a remove — There’s no actual Democratic National Convention taking place this week and I couldn’t be happier. To prevent the spread of Covid-19, Democrats and (shockingly) Republicans have decided to stage the bulk of their respective conventions virtually. I promise you that, even when you include The 2020 Factor, this will be…

What’s worse than Trump when he’s winning? Trump when he’s not. — If you’ve ever divorced Donald Trump, you know that things don’t end well with him. The United States is already getting a horrifying idea of what that process looks like. Nearly 165,000 of us are dead, and there is copious evidence that this is because Trump was afraid a Covid-19…

Drew Magary tries to undo decades of bad penmanship by following four simple rules — I am a writer who can’t write. If you ever saw my actual handwriting, the jig would be up. I’ve written books, and sometimes I inscribe them for people, and when I do, it looks like I’ve defaced my own work. One time, I made a mistake while signing a…

The lies we tell ourselves are such a comfy kind of bullshit — Why us? Over the past few months, I’ve been watching us fall behind practically every other country on Earth in terms of Covid-19 prevention and thinking to myself, Why America? Why are we so vulnerable to misinformation that we have both citizens AND leaders who don’t just ignore the basic…

As it bumbles its way toward what looks like an even shorter season than it planned, MLB itself is leading the league in errors — I think Major League Baseball saw all this coming; they just didn’t give a shit. Baseball returned last week to empty stadiums all across the country, and even before the first pitch was thrown, MLB had fucked everything up. Nationals superstar Juan Soto tested positive for the coronavirus (he has…