Creating Growth in Your Life…

Why you avoid it, and what to do about it.

Derick Van Ness
Sep 25 · 5 min read

You say you want growth, but most likely you are avoiding it with every bit of your being. Truly.

Expansion is always brought forth by doing something you’ve never done before. Its uncomfortable and the first time is never easy. Especially when anticipation and expectation become your dance partners through the entire process.

You have the choice to embrace change or fight it. Your choice will dictate how you view the world moving forward. Will it be dangerous and never as good as life used to be? Or will you live into an ever brightening future?

If you fear change the world will slowly close in around you — all you know slowly being stolen and replaced. If you love and embrace change you’ll see the world full of wonder and possibilities.

Everyone wants change, but most people are unwilling TO change. Don’t fall into this trap. For the world to become better, you must lead the awkward, stumbling charge.

At least that’s how it starts.

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

When you first start something new, you’re going to do it badly. It’s ok. The path to greatness begins at the doorstep of ineptitude. You can’t speed through it, you must BE in the process completely.

Like dancing, growth isn’t

something to be rushed through.

Just as you’d never attempt to get to the end of a song faster, dancing through your growing process isn’t about getting to the end of the music.

Instead it is about getting as much out of each beat as possible. Swaying to each rhythm, engulfed in the process and full of life. Wringing every last drop out of the experience and savoring its delicious juice. Even when the juice is sour.

I’ve heard it said that the quality of your life is equivalent to the number of uncomfortable conversations and experiences you’re willing to have.

Those events facilitate growth.

You are incredibly adaptable and resilient. Far more than you’d ever believe. You can survive and thrive under even the most extreme of conditions if necessary. It’s who you are and you can’t help it, so use it to your advantage.

Don’t be afraid to push beyond your current boundaries. Climb the fence you believe is protecting you and see what lies beyond. I’m willing to bet you’ll discover beauty… and danger… and wonderment you never imagined!

Photo by valdez on Unsplash

Be a bold adventurer in your own life. You don’t need to take catastrophic risks. But if the worst that can happen is a skinned knee, rejection, or your own embarrassment, you should absolutely go for it!

Don’t just take what is given to you, seek out what you want. Go after it and chase it down.

You’ll soon discover that the joy isn’t in catching what you pursue, but in the pursuit itself. Taking on a worthwhile challenge, even if you fall short, will leave you stronger, leaner, and pulsing with life!

The best habit you can facilitate is to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Doing the hard work that matters. It is in you, whispering in your ear. Sweetly asserting you who you truly are.

Listen to that voice.

Play the big game in spite of the difficulty. The road to fulfillment is paved with the responsibility you are willing to take on.

Photo by Rahul Dey on Unsplash

So what version of yourself are you willing to carve out of thin air? Where do you want to plant your flag in spite of the odds? Odds were made to be defied, and if it isn’t you, who will it be?

This moment is yours and yours alone. Nobody else knows the stories in your head or the narrative you’re creating.

Not a single person on the face of the earth has your unique perspective or desire to make the change that matters most to you.

If that change is come to life, it must be your breath that fills it with vitality. Makes it real. Without you it can’t exist. Take a deep breath and blow.

In chasing your dreams you find yourself. Don’t rob yourself due to fear or sloth. There is always a way through as long as you are willing to persist.

The more difficult the obstacles, the more the “lesser you” will be wiped away. A cleaner and clearer version of you will become visible.

Don’t shy away from the work, it is your friend. The coach that will get you into “game shape” for your biggest moments.

Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash

From the outside this process may look exciting and romantic. Others see you working toward your dreams, but they only get to see the external results.

In the trenches it feels very different than it looks from their perspective.

Success feels like continually doing something

beyond what you believe you could do,

but preparing and showing up anyway.

The process never ends nor does it get comfortable. You may become used to the discomfort and adapt to ways of handling it, but it never completely leaves.


That is the growth happening. The constant carving, honing and refinement of you into something new.

The changing process will happen no matter what you do — even if you do nothing.

The question is whether your actions will shape you into a better version of yourself or the opposite. Will you become the superhero of your own story, or the blob that destroys everything in its path?

You get to choose each moment, each day, each setback. The future is created in the present, so it’s always being built “right now”.

Choose accordingly.

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Derick Van Ness

Written by

Artist, Dancer, Sailor & Perpetual Optimist. My specialty is helping people create financial certainty, but I love to help people succeed in all areas of life!

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