Time travel to my college days

So I went back to my college today

I had to go collect my degree certificate, it’s already been an year since I’ve cleared my exams.

Me and my friend, we were late, we reached there by around 2:30 pm.

The entrance was great, well build, much changed. My friend convinced the guard to let our bike inside.

There were no cycles. O_O It was one of the best things (till 3 years ago).

It was all very green, just like ever. The grass, the trees, the bushes. Green.

Everywhere I looked, reminded me of something.

Some happy memories, riding with friends, walking back from a intense football match, going to canteen or stores, studying in the lawn.

Some sad memories, riding with friends, walking back from a intense football match, going to canteen or stores, studying in the lawn.

Yes, everything felt happy yet sad. I guess that’s how nostalgia feels like. Well I don’t get that often.

We went to the admin, got our certificates, and came out, just in 2 minutes.

Everyplace, every single one of them, reminded a lot of memories.

Some of those pursuits has ended good, some others, not so much.

I missed her.

And all those strolling and talking and eating.

I missed my naiveness, my adamancy. I missed my younger self.

I wasn’t a very studious person. I didn’t go to classes r̶e̶g̶u̶l̶a̶r̶l̶y̶, at all.

I wasn’t very famous, I didn’t do any extra/co-curricular stuff.

I just stuck to my games and eventually moved to coding. And I went out with the people I loved, whenever I could.

And yet, here I am, very disturbed.

I wonder how others would feel. Must be tough for those who were active.

I’ve been devoid of emotions for a while and I didn’t expect this hit.

It hit me that I might not visit my college again. It was a sad thought.

I looked at the water tank and remembered the view from above there.

I saw the fountain, Oh the fountain… Oh my. what more to say.

I wanted to eat something in the stores, not hungry.

But my friend was in a hurry, he didn’t seem to be startled at all. I guess he didn’t have outside memories as much as I did.

Again, I was not a outdoor person, but I enjoyed my time with people, something I don’t easily forget.

I remembered playing in the ground with balaji, Deva, Vigneshwar and a bunch of more people. Those good times.

I thought of how hopeful I was back in college.

And how things turned out. Happy about some. Still can’t get over some.

I thought how things could’ve turned out.

I missed her more.

I missed the life I could’ve had.

There was nothing I could do but weep inside.

I went to my department to collect mark sheets. The place was the same, but the people were new. Half the staffs were new.

I met a couple of them, everybody inquired of my lean body and long hair. There were a bunch of students boycotting symposium. Full of energy.

I came out to the busy lawn, right next to the library.

People in groups, walking, having conversations, getting ready to leave.

For a moment, I felt I’d give anything to go back to those young times.

Looking back, I see a lot of opportunities. Regardless of what one pursues.

I didn’t regret anything. I don’t. But…

The place made me wonder how life could’ve been.

We couldn’t go to the rooms. I was thankful for that.

I looked at all the kids on the way back. Wondered how their life would be.

I am sure I didn’t see it that way when I was in college. But now I do…

I know all these mean nothing, and I know it’ll pass. But doesn’t change the fact that it shook me. Shook me hard.

Reminded me of things, of people, especially those you’ve lost.

Reminded me of goals, things in life. Reminded me of my past self.

12/7/2016 : SSN College of Engineering