The Interested Challenge:

Being interested, not interesting means that when having a conversation, you are focused on actively listening to what the other person has to say, not spending your time thinking about what you are going to say next. When doing any engagement work, it’s important to be present and to pay attention to what the other person has to say.

I have always had a fascination with people and their stories, wanting to know more about them and where they come from. I would say that I have decent conversational skills and have the ability to carry on a prolonged conversation with just about anyone. However I often fear the silence that inevitably comes up in conversations, and, ironically, find myself not listening to the responses I had asked for, instead constantly trying to come up with the next question. The Interested Challenge, it really helped me in understanding people, making new friends. I read the first chapter of Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to win friends and Influence People” and it really changed the way I think.

After reading about ten pages, I go to know the secret of success to make more friends. There are simple rules in the book which are very helpful. I liked this part the most:

1: People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves’.

2: If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other.

By giving over the reins of the conversation, I found I actually learned more about the person in front of me because they could take the conversation to where they feel most comfortable. I hope to take this idea of being ‘interested, not interesting’ with me for the rest of my life. I have already consciously started stopping myself every time I feel the need to jump ahead mentally in a conversation. There is one lesson that I have learnt “ Give respect take respect”. If you want respect from others you must know how to treat others with respect.

You can’t force other people to be interested, but by being interested in their stuff you will

a) win more friends as Mr Carnegie so beautifully explained and

b) you will learn along the way exactly WHAT they are interested in, so you can craft your approach to fit that.

Business networking and social gives you so many opportunities to learn what the people around you are interested in. Just take time to listen before you broadcast.

“Who is wise?” “He who learns from all people, as it is said: ‘From all those who taught me I gained understanding’.