You perfectly summed up my misgivings about a group bunch of white people sitting around discussing racism, and I’ve used the very same men-discussing-women’s rights analogy to explain it to people.
I also agree about doing frequent motive checks. It isn’t really altruism if you’re secretly keeping score.
That said, I don’t have a good sense of how I can help, and would certainly welcome some guidance. Doing nothing isn’t an option.