Review: “Cold Turkey”

Misery loves company, and we love to watch.

For some people, an obese person falling down stairs is hilarious. For me, a wealthy patriarch who drinks too much does the trick. Now, on the surface, you might think that one of those setups is blunt while the other is subtle. It would be more accurate to say that one is louder than the other. Both acts are equally blunt, simplistic and lacking anything noticeable underneath. But they’re easy to digest and are almost universally funny.

Who needs subtext when you can wear the joke on your sleeve? In Cold Turkey, the audience will find a family dinner with little to chew on, but plenty of food to stare at.

The great Peter Bogdanovich, director of one of my favorite films, Nickelodeon, plays Poppy, a well educated man at the head of a troubled family. For Thanksgiving, his two daughters from one marriage and son from another come to visit and catch up…and to bring with them their personal problems and selfish requests, of course. All of the fake smiles and polite uses of “Please, excuse me” can’t hold back this bubble from bursting, not surprisingly, all over the holiday dinner. “Well to do” becomes “Oh, no you didn’t” rather quickly.

Poppy spends much of his time droopy eyed behind his glasses, pouring a chardonnay or two — or three. Bogdanovich’s portrayal comes off like a fictional Ray Kurzweil — he has the body language of an exhausted genius who sighs often and feels forced that he has to deal with everyone else. He is asked by each of his children for money, and each time puts off making a decision. “We’ll talk about it later.” Walking around his home, he moves while shuffling his feet. That says everything we need to know. He’s clearly defeated by something, or someone. Himself? Pour a drink for me too, you tragic intellectual.

Other than the dad, I can’t say that there is anything else engaging about this story. I mean, it’s fun and awkward to watch relationships dissolve in such a way around a dinner table, but that’s all there is. The destruction is the story. Then again, we go to a Roland Emmerich movie not for the relatable characters or subtextual themes and tension, but to watch things explode. I suspect the crew of Cold Turkey understand this as well and made their own disaster flick in their own way. Do they enjoy creating family chaos as much as I enjoy watching? “Yes” is the answer, I think.

Jokes don’t have to be smart, but they do have to be funny. Chris Farley crashing through a coffee table will always make me crack up. Same thing with Peter Bogdanovich drinking booze and trudging through his family’s issues. Cold Turkey may not be Todd Solondz style dysfunction, but it’s still pretty awkward. And, in the end, that’s enough to earn a chuckle.

3 / 5