Billy Jones

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All you need to do is shout, “Wackemall” and everything will be better.

If you look at my you’ll only see the following “I’m just a retired long-haul trucker who exchanged his rig for pen, paper, and keyboard.” but there really is a lot more to me.

If you wish to cut to the chase and see what I’ve been writing…


Or, I can’t believe he ate the whole thing.

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We had a lot of fun in those early days. Everywhere we went people were either excited or annoyed by what Veggie was attempting to do. Of course we didn’t care if we annoyed a few folk ’cause most people seemed…


After a lifetime of looking for, and dreaming of, this morning — in the wee hours of the morning — I finally discovered the place of my dreams, and it wasn’t what I expected it to be.

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Serniea

The battles, dreams, and therebetweens
are all soon lost to Serniea,
for all we knew, the witch’s brew,
should really not concern ya.
The oft seen signs, and worshiped shrines
will all soon fade away,
to take you to the land you knew
in times of better days.

The…


Are you struggling with actually getting donations from grateful readers. Perhaps this is part of the problem. Perhaps this is the problem?

Ko-Fi screen grab by Billy Jones

Earlier today I was so impressed with the article, by Tessa Schlesinger, that I actually attempted to tip her 3 whole Dollars via Kofi only to be greeted with the pop-up above. …


Our hero, Veggie Head Stalker, begins to question the path he has taken. Which is normal considering he doesn’t know how he got there.

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Over the years, Veggie and I would enjoy many adventures together. Of course there were those that were hard to swallow, and a few that wouldn’t go down at all, but all in all I think we enjoyed most of them…


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No matter how much we love them we…


The Saga Starts To Rot

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Of course, after that first adventure I had to ask myself if chasing some lunatic vegetable all over the far reaches of the earth was really what I wanted to do with my life, but as I was still unemployed, and…


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Just a few quick lines to brighten your…


The Early Years

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On a cold December night a few miles south of London — ahem, I mean Loudon, Louden, New Hampshire — a son was born to a Mr. and Mrs. Fruit Elvis and Candy Apple Stalker. Ol’ Fruity, as he was called…


It was a war over 80 years in the making. THEY (This Harvest Eats You) watched us fight two world-wars, dozens of conflicts and a couple of police actions before THEY began their secret war to take over the world and destroy the human race.

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It was a war over 80 years in the making. THEY (This Harvest Eats You) watched us fight two world-wars, dozens of conflicts and a couple…

Billy Jones

I'm just a retired long-haul trucker who exchanged his rig for pen, paper, and keyboard. Read more at

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