Grim Reaper Rebukes McConnell After ‘Defamatory’ Comparison
Death’s legal team is pushing back on Senate Majority Leader’s pledge to be political ‘Grim Reaper’
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) has found himself the target of Death’s ire after comparing himself to the Grim Reaper, a move the Reaper’s personal counsel says is “defamatory, offensive, and detrimental” to his longtime client.
McConnell made the controversial statement while speaking at an event in his home state of Kentucky.
“”If I’m still the majority leader in the Senate think of me as the Grim Reaper. None of that stuff is going to pass,” he said in reference to the progressive policies proposed by Democratic members of Congress and the 9,000 Democrats vying for their party’s nomination in 2020.
Those proposals include the “Green New Deal” proposed by Democratic Socialist firebrand Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
“I guarantee you that if I’m the last man standing and I’m still the majority leader, it ain’t happening. I can promise you,” McConnell said.
While McConnell’s desire to personify the death of progressive policies will be applauded by his constituents and the GOP at large, attorneys for the actual Grim Reaper are concerned that McConnell’s words invoking Death will be detrimental to the Reaper himself.
“My client has worked for millennia to build his reputation as a fair, consistent, unwavering force in the world,” Grim Reaper counsel Marty Johansson said, “and for someone as toxic and craven as Mitch McConnell to sully my client’s good name by daring to compare himself to Mr. Reaper is uncalled for.”
“The fact my client may now be forever linked to Mitch McConnell is disgusting and unfair to Mr. Reaper,” Johansson added.
The Reaper’s lawyer said they are looking into their legal options, in case McConnell continues comparing himself to the Grim Reaper. Johansson said they are most concerned that Death’s image will be co-opted in campaign materials for McConnell’s forthcoming re-election bid.
Staff for McConnell did not respond to questions about this story prior to press time.
“The Senator needs to watch himself going forward,” Johansson said.
“Many a man has tried to take on Death, but my client is undefeated.”