Would Amy Schumer Like Lorelai Gilmore?
Our hard-hitting investigation.
“A Year In The Life,” the much anticipated 4-part Netflix reboot of “Gilmore Girls” finally has release date. November 25th, 2016. Black Friday. It’s going to be a magical weekend, with built in binge-watching snacks in the form of Thanksgiving leftovers.
Mark your calendars, yo.
Annnnd, we now have our first look at the Gilmores since we left them nine years ago. In Netflix’s announcement video, Lorelai and Rory are parked around the kitchen table, snacking on Pop Tarts (duh), and Lorelai wonders out loud, “Do you think Amy Schumer would like me?”
We want to know the answer. Let’s review the evidence together, shall we?
Would Amy Schumer Like Lorelai Gilmore?
Exhibit A: Feminism
Amy: Calls out double sexist standards on the regular.
“I’m labeled a sex comic. I think it’s just ’cause I’m a girl. I feel like a guy could get up here and literally pull his dick out, and everyone would be like, ‘He’s a thinker.’” — Amy Schumer, HBO special at the Apollo, 2015
Lorelai: Teaches future generations of girls to dream bigger. Or at least, taller.
Amy: Shuts down haters and owns her own narrative.
I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will. — Amy Schumer, Gloria Gala Speech, 2015
Lorelai: Names her kid after herself in a fog of feminism, painkillers, and hormones.
Findings: They’re sort of on the same page, just with slightly different approaches.
Exhibit B: Food As A Sport
Amy: Injures herself while eating, treats injury with frozen burrito.
Lorelai: Masters the art of eating literally everything, passes skills on to the next generation.
Amy: Never skips a meal. Like ever.
I’ve never been the girl who’s like ‘Oh, I forgot to eat lunch today?’ — Amy Schumer and Friends, 2015
Lorelai: Still hungry after three Thanksgiving dinners.
Findings: Extremely compatible. These girls both love to eat and make no apologies for it. Can’t you just see them hanging at Al’s Pancake World together? I ship it.
Exhibit C: Coffee
Lorelai: Brings Rory a cup after a rough day
Amy: Shares her semi-nude, Annie Leibovitz portrait with her to-go cup.
Lorelai: Only with oxygen.
Amy: No coffee, no workee.
Findings: No question, these two would definitely bond over a cup of a Luke’s coffee.
Verdict: Yes. Amy Schumer would probably like you, Lorelai Gilmore.
Now someone else figure out if John Oliver would find her hot. Let us know.
