The Big Shot’s Right Hand Woman (1).

She’d been lying at the foot of the top landing stairs for about ten minutes, it felt like an hour but the late summer evening light hadn’t changed that much so it was likely ten minutes.

“Are you OK?” he lisped. She looked up and thought jackpot, a man who’d been dressed by his mother his whole life but hadn’t quite got over her death towered above her. “Phone the police….I’ve been battered….and raped…..by a schizophrenic… a paranoid schizophrenic” she said in the same voice most of use to to call in sick on a Monday morning. Her eyes and face went out cold but her brain kept working. She couldn’t afford to fuck this up.

Meanwhile The Schizophrenic sat in his flat feeling shaken and bewildered. One minute they were chatting normally, she was telling him about her day running a £5.7 million leisure centre empire while her boss was away, the next she’d gone berserk. He’d mentioned that he’d gone to the bank earlier and there was no money in his account. He wouldn’t have minded but it was his savings, he was sure he had £300 put away but the bank said it had been withdrawn. He tried to explain but she smashed a wine glass and began to give herself shallow slashes across her face. He’d tried to stop her, she’d helped him so much with his money when she was a busy woman with so many businesses and a big family to cope with, he couldn’t bear to watch her crack up. He phoned his brother. No reply. He tried to get her to sit down and breathe but she ran out the flat.

He’d give her five minutes. He didn’t want to frighten her. He loved her, he still couldn’t believe a woman like her was interested in him. He’d met her at a market, he’d been buying DVDs and she’d been cracking a few heads together. She told him she ran most of the Glasgow markets and this one was failing. She’d told the traders they had 24 hours to pay her half a million or she was shutting them down. It was then he noticed no one could look her in the eye.

A police radio crackled, then the door came in. It happened fast, they told him they were arresting him for common law breach of the peace, common law assault, and offences under the Sexual Offences Act 2008. He asked them if they’d seen his girlfriend, the big red faced jug eared one punched him in the baws. All of him went out cold. The police called another ambulance.

Jennifer Montmorency

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Short sentences about politics & other things that cause me to lie on a chaise cursing the world. Yerda ally and activist.