Let Me Eat Cake: Why I Just Can’t With The World Right Now

Theodora Grace
Aug 22, 2017 · 4 min read

Whether you want to admit it or not, the world we’re living in these days is a truly, horribly, depressing place. Every time I read the news, I feel like going to sleep and not wake up for a 100 years because it seems like there’s never any good news. Racism, radicalism, terrorism, fascism, and other really bad -isms have dominated and the problems of the world are so incredibly complex that I don’t know what to do about them or how to respond to them other than, well, going into complete denial.

This is why I laugh at and can totally relate with Tina Fey’s somewhat controversial sheetcake-ing bit on SNL’s Weekend Update. I’m sorry but that woman can do no wrong in my eyes and as problematic as that whole bit was, I can understand where she’s coming from. I too often feel that all I can do about this messed up world we’re living in right now is just to scream my frustrations and anger into a cake. Or a burger. Or a bowl of ramen or two.

I’m sorry I can’t be the woman who rises and fights and wins against the evil of this world. I’m already exhausted from fighting my own demons. Now I gotta fight The Big Bad too? It’s all just getting a little too much to handle. I want to be Wonder Woman, but sometimes i just don’t have the strength to be. Sometimes I just have enough strength to scream into a cake. And that should be okay too. It doesn’t mean that I don’t hate what’s going on in the world today. It doesn’t mean that I tolerate evil. It just means that for now, I am not strong enough to take up arms and fight the good fight. I can’t fix the world’s problems. I just can’t. I wouldn’t know where to begin.

What I can do right now is making sure that the state of the world today doesn’t break me and send me into deep depression. I have to do whatever I can to help me get up in the morning and be ready to face the day. And that sometimes means tuning out the world and just concentrating on the things I love that make me happy: like my cats, my favorite TV shows, and staring at pictures of Bill Skarsgard. It doesn’t make me an ignorant cow. It just means I’m human that can only handle so much.

If you grew up in the 90s, I bet you remembered (and loved) the movie Reality Bites. It’s the quintessential coming-of-age flick of the 90s, starring Ethan Hawke and Wynona Ryder back when they were still young and gorgeous. I mean, Wynona is still gorgeous now, but Ethan Hawke has seen better days. Anyway. For years and years and years after I saw that movie, I would quote this line to everyone who cares to listen: “I am not under any orders to make the world a better place”. There are way more famous lines from the movie, but for some reason, that line resonated with me the most. I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. I know it’s a really selfish thing to say. But sometimes, when I’m already too worn down by my own life — I feel like quoting that line again.

I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. I want to. I really do. But I don’t know how. And getting angry on social media is about as effective as screaming your frustrations into a cake, so I choose cake instead. I choose to look away because if I keep looking directly at the evil that has taken over the world right now, it will swallow me whole. I choose to distract myself with anything: TV, cats, work, Bill Skarsgard, and the list goes on, because if I have to keep focusing on the “real” news of today, I would not be able to get up from bed in the morning. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care. It just means that I am not ready to fight just yet.

One day I will be ready to fight. I will be ready to take up arms and show evil who’s boss. I will be ready to tackle the world’s problems. I won’t be able to solve them alone, but I will be strong enough to join forces with all y’all and we can truly make the world a better place together. I do not know when that day will come, but it will come. And when it does, you best believe that I will fight with everything that I have.

But for now, just let me eat cake.

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Theodora Grace

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I am a fabulous monster. (PS: I talk TV a lot. You've been warned. Follow at your own risk)

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