Juan López
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

First of all, sleeping with someone who is not your partner while dealing with any kind of mental disorder is not a good idea. That is because you are vulnerable and the chances are high that anything a casual partner says can hurt you easily and deeply. Exposing yourself to that is your responsability.

Also, after reading your whole article… I think you are blaming all men for something that is mostly your fault. It can sound pretty harsh but I will tell you why I think so, based on my experience as a gay male (bottom):

  1. About the “ice queen” experience you tell, I know what it is like. That has happened to me more than once, so I can tell you it is not sexist. Why? Because it happened to me too. I am a man, so it is not because you are a woman. It happens if you sleep with a jerk. This one was totally on him.
  2. You faking your orgasms is not opression. It is about you being dishonest. I lived in Spain and the UK. In neither of these countries I have found parents encouring boys to be honest while encouraging girls to lie like you say. Anyway, when you become and adult and can consent, it is supposed that you can also think for yourself and realise being dishonest just will bring you bad things, like not getting enjoyable relationships.
  3. As Samatha Jones from “Sex and The City” said: If you sleep with a guy once and don’t have an orgasm, it’s his fault. If it happens more times, it is your fault. I have never slept again with a guy I had bad sex with. It would be a stupid thing to do and it would be only under my responsability.
  4. I do not think society tells you that refusing sex is bad. Neither of my female friends do. They have studied psychology, sociology, anthropology… so they know quite a lot about culture and human societies.
  5. If any LGBT persons think they are worse than “straight normal” couples for having non-heterosexual sex they have an issue themselves. You cannot blame that on other people. If you do so, you are placing the ability to solve your lack of confidence and achieve happiness on others. That ability is just inside of us.

So… my point is that I think that you are placing all the responsability of sex in heterosexual males while ignoring your role in all of your encounters. Sex is not something about men or women. It is about men AND women and both play a part on it. Therefore, both are responsible in some way or another.

The experience you had with the “ice queen” jerk was completely his fault (let’s ignore you should not have had sex with him because you were passing thorugh a very tough time). Every single time you faked your orgasm or not tell the guy how you liked sex… I am afraid you are the one to blame for it.

And all the thoughts you infer about “male getting property of your orgasm” is just not logical. I mean, when I masturbate, I make myself come. If a guy fucks me and masturbates me while doing so, he obviously is making myself come. If he comes while fucking me, it is because I make himself come. That is the logic in the sentence “make someone come”. It is not taking someone else’s orgasm as your property. If you make youself come, it implies you are masturbating yourself and that you are doing it alone.

Juan López

Written by

Biology doesn’t care about your feelings. Neither do I. So… Let’s let the “oppression” begins!

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade