A Misanthrope’s Guide To Friendship

Bethany Smith
Jul 21, 2017 · 1 min read
  • Your friends will make silly choices. Go ahead and make peace with that – I’ll wait.
  • You good now? Be warned – it gets worse.
  • Your friends will try to convince you that people aren’t so bad. The easiest way to placate them is to pretend you’ll take their words to heart.
  • For every time you say ‘no’ to spending time with friends, you will have to say ‘yes’ twice.
  • Prepare to broaden your horizons. Your friends are going to want to do “interesting” activities. They aren’t going to be okay with hanging out at your place having quiet conversation.
  • You’re going to have to lower your standards.
  • You’re going to have to become conversant in *shudder* pop culture.
  • You might have to switch your whiskey neat for some lemon drop shots in order to keep your friends from calling you “woefully old fashioned”.
  • You’re going to be exposed to Top 40 hits and repetitive pop music. Deal with it. You can listen to Leonard Cohen on your own time.
  • You may grow to love your friends – but you’re still going to spend a LOT of time rolling your eyes at their antics.
  • Don’t take everything so seriously and you’ll be fine. Your friends might actually surprise you.

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Bethany Smith

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