“Someday You’ll Stop Feeling Sorry for What You Lost”

And start feeling thankful for what you had

The worst part about my hardest experiences is that I find them too painful to write about. What a waste.

Control is the most addictive drug. You’ll do anything to get it, and when it’s taken away, the withdrawal feels like it could kill you.

Maybe the best thing I ever wrote is a stream-of-consciousness prose poem for the website of a national women’s magazine. I have no idea how it got published.

The ending went: “I’m thinking to myself, if this plane crashed, / I’d go down thinking about her, / not because I love her but because maybe I could have and wouldn’t that be convenient?” It’s about a person whose name I can’t remember.

If we all experience FOMO, does that make us more isolated or more connected?

Like a rainbow, there is treasure at the bottom of my coffee cup and poetry beyond this pain.

My sister wrote me a thank-you note, unprompted. On the outside, it quoted William Arthur Ward: “Feeling gratitude without expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

Another friend told me: “Someday you’ll stop feeling sorry for what you lost and start feeling thankful for what you had.”

I took a video of my dad laughing, and it’s the realest, most beautiful thing I’ve seen all year.

My grandfather has buried two wives. At age 83, he met Joyce. They live together, and he calls her “the love of my later years.” I think she saved his life.

I was feeling so low that I bought a notebook and decided I wouldn’t stop writing until I’d filled an entire page with things I like about myself. I wrote them all down and even started to believe some.

That night, millions of people gathered to watch a racist exchange blows with a man infamous for domestic abuse. A spectacle of hate, the fight was a celebration of bigotry and the commoditization of violence. Instead of watching, I went out dancing by myself. That’s where I first met you.

Dig this? Check out “Things To Do Instead of Feeling Sad.” (#8: Produce a documentary called 90-Minute Kiss Cam.)