Missing (A Poem)

When you sit alone
in the silence of the night
Breath escaping your lips in cold, quiet gasps
Because you dare not wake the others
Lest they finally know
How broken you really are
And how many pieces are missing.

That silence weighs heavy
Like Atlas’ burden upon your shoulders
Leaving your spine bending and your heart cracked
But you dare not lay it down
Or they’ll finally see that
There is not much left of you
And they might turn away.

In that silence, the tears fall
Quietly, between the weakening gasps
Like trails of acid that leave behind no trace
They can never know that
The fragments are all missing
And you fear you’ll never get them back.

The fragments are all buried
Beneath your feet in the cold hard earth
Yet they feel heavier than ever
Pulling you down to join with your
Missing pieces in the hollow where they
Have found their final rest.

The missing never stops
And the drink only numbers the emptiness
That sits in your chest like an open wound.
You stare at the edges, because they
Hurt to much to touch, and don’t get
too close because you might fall in.

It will be there forever
That sucking chest wound, that
Aching hole that never wants to heal
When all I can do is walk outside
Take a breath and scream my rage into the storm
And say “I miss you” because goodbye hurts too much.

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