I think your argument is essentially saying the same thing as the traditional interputation of the golden rule. The reason you’re espousing to treat others the way they want to be treated, and see it from their shoes, is because you want them to treat you the way you want to be treated. If you’re treating them the way they want to be treated and they’re treating you the way you want to be treated, then you’re both doing unto each other as you each would like the other to do unto yourselves. The gist of the traditional interpretation of doing to others as you would have them do unto you, is to treat others with the same respect and consideration as you would prefer them to treat you, however it is expressed. I see it as an attitude, not a rule, a mindset. Using your example of a vegetarian dinner guest, you would like for them to consider that you’re not a vegetarian when choosing a restaurant, so you consider that they are when you’re choosing a restaurant. This makes for a healthy relationship of mutual respect. So the traditional golden rule is correct.