Very well written. Thanks for sharing your life experience. Alcohol abuse has never been a problem for me, or even the temptation of it. Beer makes me sleepy and bloated, and I don’t like being out of control. Lucky me. I have always wondered on the psychology and physiology of individuals enticed and trapped by substance addiction, and the only way I can even come close to understanding it is hearing people’s stories, such as yours, and putting pieces of the puzzle together. Understanding people not like us (who have different challenges than we) leads to empathy, and empathy leads to the likelihood of less judgement and exclusion, which leads more inclusion and so on, ultimately leading to love of fellow man, if we allow it, expressed in help and support. I assume you have a support group of sorts, but we readers can be a type of support from afar? Hang in there, dude!