A SF insomniac list of things to do @ 3:29am

Insomnia happens to everyone sooner or later. What you do with that precious time is up to you. Here are a few ideas.

Wild One — This is pretty self-explanitory, here’s your chance to become the LOUD neighbor…unless you’re used to being the loud one and you have no idea what I’m talking about. Consider vacuuming, running a garbage disposal, jump roping or starting to learn the electric guitar. Extra points for non-sycopated sounds.

Snore snooping — In the bay area it’s pretty unlikely that your apartment has air conditioning so on a warm night everyone sleeps with the windows open. Find out which of your neighbors snore. For added points, if you can lie in bed and hear them, use the syncopation as a metronome to help you fall asleep again. Extra-extra points: try to figure out which of your neighbors makes that horrible noise.

Blair Witching — In the city you’re likely not the only one awake. Someone is always walking their dog/drunk friend/shopping cart down the street in front of your place. Use these unsuspecting people and create a moment when they notice you standing in a window looking out. Then, disappear when they look back. Extra points for multiple views in different locations of the house.

Booking time — that biography of some grand personage you bought while dating the all-too-avid reader is still sitting there, untouched. Now would be a good time to finish it. And, this is likely to be the only thing that will get you to fall asleep.

Hot Meal — The 4am cleaning crew hasn’t been through your street yet. Identify the meal someone has vomitted on your sidewalk. Extra points if you can identify the restaurant.

Stalkbooking — Oh, who are we kidding, this is an everyday activity. Extra points: Actually adding someone as a friend. Extra-extra points: un-friending someone (I call this one ‘silent death’).

Exercise — hahahahahahah

Arctic Nipples — Stand in front of the fridge (or freezer) for too long searching for something. Of course, you don’t know exactly what you want so you stand there a little longer. Extra point: moving things around on the shelf, nonchalantly, with your feet/toes.

Better Parking — Actually, this one isn’t true, even in San Francisco.

Btw, this list was actually written at 3:29. Go figure.

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