Dear Women:

(I am mostly speaking to cis-gendered heterosexual women, and I also invite anyone who identifies as a woman to inquire into this as applicable.)

It’s time to stop with the shaming of men.

I get that you’re angry and maybe scared. I’m fucking angry and scared too.

I get that it’s hard to get our voices heard much less believed, after 3,000+ years of being considered men’s property.

I get it too that our hard-won rights seem shaky right now.

But that’s exactly why I’m writing this.

Do you want men with us or not?

Do you want an incredible lover and partner by your side?

Shaming men without recognizing how we as women have become pawns of patriarchy is counter-productive.

Yes, the external threats to our sovereignty are real and we need our anger to fight.

But if we direct our anger at men as the problem rather than systems of oppression that we all play into -

If we keep belittling men as a knee-jerk reaction -

It’s not going to solve things.

Sometimes it may feel hopeless.

And I know that making fun is sometimes the only way to make our point when women are dismissed and infantilized for showing any emotion whatsoever.

But after working with men around sex, love, and relationships, I can say that it’s driving a further wedge.