It’s okay to suck

Being bad is part of the process.

I went to a grunge concert recently. People were shaking their heads to show how much they were enjoying it. Maybe they were. Who am I to judge?

But that’s not what grunge is about. You don’t make sounds to the point where the notes don’t mean anything. Nirvana did grunge with acoustic. The man who sold the world had such a simple yet powerful riff.

I think when we try to avoid judgement, it’s because we are afraid. And I think fear ties closely with our ego. Failure doesn’t matter to me, the fact that *I* failed does.

I’m making music. I can make lovely sounds. I’m thinking soft rock. It’s lovely and sweet and beautiful and subtle and powerful.

You need to respect the music to enjoy it. And I don’t think soft rock judges you for not shaking your head.

I use distortion sometimes. When I feel like shaking things up a bit. It’s nice. Oasis uses distortion to create mellow rhythms. I like Oasis. They used their music to propel them to greatness. Didn’t start a revolution, never claimed they did.

I’m bad with acoustic rhythms. Warm electric rock is my thing right now. I like the slide. Not the one where you slide too much and are afraid of your fingers getting hurt. The one with fewer notes. That’s nice.

More recently, I’ve been listening to Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler you’re amazing. And I can see the mellowness in your music that has come with age. The singing is pretty good too. I like it. You perform and yet retain your style. That’s something I’d love to work on, love to have.

I want to find my tribe. I really do. Some idiot like me who understands he sucks. Wants to get better.

I just want to say. You are not my competition. You are nowhere close. You don’t know the nights I wake up playing random melodies. You don’t get to where I am by saying shit. You work.

I’ve spent a year working out. I don’t go to people with abs and tell them they need to eat more food. Because I respect them, their resolve.

I’ve had my ego ripped to shreds in almost every conversation I’ve had. But I will keep moving forward. Your ego will try to pull me down. When you get that urge, show some fucking respect.

Look, if you’re putting yourself out there, willing to face judgement, I already think you’re great. You’re brave and you’re courageous. And having been there, by being there right now, I know how hard it is. The goals we set for ourselves are the hardest to accomplish. They also mean the most. And that’s something we have to fight for.

I think I’ll start singing soon. Because I have words I want to share, and I know exactly how they want to sound.

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