Passive aggressive behaviour is the absolute worst
Sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. It’s not a very pleasant feeling. We all have expectations and beliefs. We all want to be loved. We want our thoughts to be valued, time respected.
We all want. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But how do we get what we want? And on a more uncomfortable note, how do we deal with the issue that we don’t always get what we want.
I think people are entitled to their own opinions. And what we do out of desperation, or out of insecurity is undermine another person’s individual thought.
It feels so good. When you know others are willing to forego their self-interest for your sake. But that’s a privilege. That’s love. That’s empathy. You earn that through mutual respect and trust. You are by no means entitled to it.
You know the problem with passive aggressive behaviour? It never solves the problem. It alway causes more. And the easy part to understand is that we never confront what’s bothering us head on. That puts us in a place where we don’t make any progress. But at a deeper level, passive aggressive behaviour makes us display power in areas where we feel like we have the most power. Where people closest to us are at their most vulnerable state.
So in a sense, we abuse the love and respect somebody else has for us. We know they are willing to take the heat, because they care about us, and instead of nurturing that sense of warmth, we abuse it.
I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I say things that put me in a bad light. I try to stretch the limits of the relationships I have with people.
But regardless of how terribly I screw up, I gain a deep sense of security knowing that despite my flaws, I never ever try to undermine another person’s sense of personal worth to make myself feel better.
My head aches as I write this. This is an uncomfortable subject. Because I need to understand the subtle ways in which my fear of confrontation affects other parts of my life.
And I understand that we can avoid confrontation. But if something troubles us, we should give the problem the respect it deserves.
The people in your life matter. Especially the people you are willing to hurt.
They matter the most.