Start asking your friends for help
Be the first one. Voluntarily put yourself in a position where they have the power.
It may hurt your ego. It should.
But I think the best kind of friends treat you the same regardless. That’s the kind of friend I want to be. Let me tell you why this is important.
The most important thing you can give your friend is your attention. With social media and TV, we THRIVE in an attention economy. Everybody wants it.
And when you find people giving “Oviya” more attention than they give you, you know they’re convenient social arrangements. They aren’t your friends by any means. So stop kidding yourself.
Purge bullshit from your life. It’s the single greatest way to grow. Bullshit exists only because you’re afraid of dealing with something that’s bothering you.
I’m not one to hate. I don’t fixate on the wrongdoings of another person. But let me tell you that less that 1% of the people I know are willing to help me when I need something. Really.
And it bothers me a lot that people treat friendship as a trade-off. I want to see you grow and succeed, sure it makes me highly insecure about my own success, but I still respect the fact that you want to grow. And if you need my help, ask me, I will help. But understand my perspective as well.
I think the first few favours are unconditional. I will help you regardless of how I feel. After sometime, if you start taking it for granted, I will tell you that I have things that I need to work on as well. It’s not a trade-off , it’s respect. It’s basic human decency. And if something means a lot to you, I’ll be there.
And if you ever think you’re superior, especially because someone is less “popular” or “hot” or “intelligent” or “wealthy” or has a lame “social media presence” or whatever our generation is obsessed with, understand that it’s superficial bullshit you use to hide from your insecurities.
For the loser now will be later to win, and the times they are a’ changin’.
It’s hard for me to practice what I preach. The truth is sometimes I get so bent on “getting” something from someone that I don’t understand how they feel but. But this is only during the first favour. I mean, I don’t keep asking people to do shit FOR me. I hope not. I need to be more conscious about this.
But I’m continuously surprised by how many people are willing to talk shit, like so much, and not raise a finger when you feel like you need it. This is not an attack on any one person. This is not an attack on any person. This is the nature of reality.
Having the right people in our lives can immensely amplify growth. Treat everybody with respect. You’ll be surprised by how much you can grow if you sacrifice your ego.
Have a good day.