Modern Indian Bride
Today I am here to share a story. It is of the modern Indian bride. I must tell you this isn’t a sad story. It is actually a happy one. I am an Indian woman born and raised in Abu Dhabi, UAE. I love my culture. However, some of my thoughts have changed over time.
My big fat Indian wedding (held in Goa, India) was in January 2016 and I was so excited for it. But it turned out to be not that good..The function as a whole was amazing. First thing to mention, in Indian culture, parents pay for the wedding which is why mine was so extravagant. There is no way in hell I could afford that wedding! As the wedding started coming closer, I started feeling this weird pressure. I wasn’t getting cold feet because I was already married to the love of my life and was very happy about it (court marriage done before). But I was getting nervous because of these unreal expectations that an Indian Bride faces.
There was just so much pressure about what I was going to wear, my make up, my hair and honestly I couldn’t care less!! I was marrying someone who I had been with for 9 years and that was to be celebrated..not my attire or make up. I feel there is nothing in the world like simplicity. My first week in india, I was taken to the designer for my clothes..worst experience ever..i would never go back there..let us save that story for another blog. There were 3 other people with me who were helping me “choose” my outfits. It was actually annoying to have these people there, because honestly they were too many opinions. Instead people were trying to decide my outfit for me and I hated that. Women today, are highly educated, career oriented, have a brain of their own and want to decide things for themselves. In the end I was able to get things done my way but it was a fight, and that is what is annoying..Why was it a fight? It was my outfit..This is just one example of the frustration I went through..there are tons of examples that can be shared.
I am not putting this blog out there to talk about girly bridal stuff but about how there is a group of Indian girls who don’t care about this. Instead we want a small ceremony, with a small group of people who matter to us and have a fun wedding. We do these big weddings to make our parents happy who spend so much money on this one time function and in the end the bride and groom are either fighting or just unhappy (Please watch the Bang Baaja Baraat webseries on Youtube..best example of indian wedding drama!). I think it really is time to let the Indian couples getting married take decisions regarding their wedding so they can invite who they want (not the one million relatives we don’t care about), wear what they like, and have a blast.
Whenever I think of my wedding, I always think about the fun court wedding and reception I had here in the USA with my friends and immediate family before my big fat Indian wedding..That simple white wedding dress I have from my wedding here in usa is what I want to keep but not the RS 80,000 outfit I wore in India (incredibly uncomfortable), which obviously is a one time wear!! Don’t get me wrong, there were some fun aspects to the big fat Indian wedding (my friends from college who made it — again coming back to the people who matter), however most of it wasn’t fun . I can go on and on about this but as long as my message about simple and meaningful Indian weddings get across, I am good.
When I was getting married, I thought I wanted a big wedding..my husband tried to tell me “lets do a small wedding” but I didn’t get it..i didn’t really understand the concept of a small wedding myself..so I don’t blame anyone for the big Indian wedding debacle. If you are an Indian bride-to-be and you are reading this blog and agreeing with it, you might be someone like me..My message to you is to understand what you want, be firm and do your wedding your way..Yes parents will be upset but they will come along..it is your big day and you should celebrate it with the love of your life!!