Review: The Guy Snoring during Transformers: The Last Knight Pretty Much Sums it Up

Nemesis Prime deserves better

I don’t think there is anything more disappointing than coming out of a movie theatre regretting even going in the first place. Even more so having a great anticipation for something, a movie, that barely meets substandard, especially for an iconic brand and series (cough, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, cough). Transformers: The Last Knight was more than the usually summer movie bust, it was an atrocious cinematic approach to the action-adventure-drama-whatever genre, and a horrific display of video editing for a veteran film director.

If the snores in the movie theatre weren’t telling enough, glancing over toward my little brother and seeing him asleep also perfectly illustrated this entire experience.

Judging by the trailer released several months ago, my perceived thought was excitement for this latest Transformers film. I’ve personally enjoyed the series thus far, ignoring the reviews and ratings because the films were fun. However, Transformers: The Last Knight merits every horrible review given. Sitting at a Rotten Tomatoes score of a measly 16%, during writing this, with an audience score of 64% shows people still have generosity within themselves because that is too high a score.

Michael Bay’s intense infatuation with dubstep, slow-motion, no story or character development, action-adventure cinematic approach to Transformers: The Last Knight destroyed a potentially great idea. Optimus Prime essentially turning heel upon the human race was ingenious; one of the few reasons I was eager to see the film. However, Transformers: The Last Knight failed with a cast that was unused and unappreciated. Mark Wahlberg’s acting couldn’t save the film, and Isabela Moner’s Transformers debut was scripted corniness, as a young child heroine who was more annoying than Anthony Hopkin’s old, curse-induced, hip character. Don’t get forget C-P3O. Wait, that wasn’t him?

Laura Haddock, the actress, was the only real positive for this film. Her beautiful appearance as character Vivian lacked interest for a rather good acting role. Her overnight love romance (if you can call it that) with Mark Wahlberg’s Cade Yeager was expecting but rushed within scene after scene after scene after scene. The potential cast simply became lost.

The audience was given no time to digest the onslaught of action, I quickly became lost in the fray of setting, story, and voice acting. Seriously, what the hell was going on? Where were they? Why is this going so fast? Bumblebee fought in WW2? (Oh god, another spin-off). And another one? (ending…) More questions arose while I watched than answers provided.

For all the action this movie had, it became an unnecessary display of nothingness, laced with a poor plot, and irrelevant characters that we so uninvolved that it would have made a deadbeat father proud. I never thought it was possible to fall asleep during an action-adventure movie in a movie theatre, but Transformers: The Last Knight surprised me as the first-ever to do so. To whoever was snoring during the movie in the theatre, you are most pardoned and I envy you.

I need to trust the reviews, maybe even waiting to see what critics and fans say before paying at the ticket stand. Even if I did my ignorance would precede me, as I would have most likely went this Michael Bay trap, only to later agree with the critics. Just because it makes millions doesn’t mean it is good. Damn you, professional review magazine people.

Seriously, Laura Haddock should be the next Lara Croft.

Despite these numerous negatives, there were some pros about Transformers: The Last Knight. First, Daddy’s Home 2 looks pretty funny. Mel Gibson should be a good addition to Will Ferrell’s humor. Second, the cinnamon pretzel bites at Marcus Theatres were absolutely phenomenon. That Oreo Icing was superb, and now I will always buy this sweet before seeing any movie. Lastly, Laura Haddock should have been cast as lead role Lara Croft for the rebooted Tomb Raider films coming. I know this isn’t a positive concerning Transformers but I just had to vent it out.

If you don’t trust the reviews of Transformers: The Last Knight from acclaimed reviewers, and still won’t take my thoughtful review piece literally, then here’s my heartfelt advice: take a blanket, buy some cinnamon pretzel bites (if your theatre has them), and catch some up on some sleep. You owe it to yourself.

-Justino