Time escapes me. The majority of my time is spent worrying about work that I need to do, whilst procrastinating religiously. I have fallen behind in most of my modules at university, and I feel as though my head is a blur. I have no true structure in my life, and lack the discipline to create it.
When I fall behind, I lose track of my workload and gradually become detached from university life. I noticed this recently, upon the realisation that I don’t know what two of my lecturers look like. Strangely, I mostly feel a distinct lack of urgency to catch up, regardless of looming deadlines and exams. My head is leisurely soaring through the clouds, unable to comprehend the mountains of reality, waiting stubbornly beyond the fog.
The only means of landing my mind safely, albeit just for a cheeky tea break, is meditation. For 10 minutes each day, I strive to choke the vocal cords of my mind and truly experience solitude. There is a lot to be said for doing nothing. It helps me to recover, motivate and refocus my mind. Thus far, I haven’t managed to carry the calm focus to my studies post-meditation, though meditation helps draw a clearer picture of what truly matters in life. I hope that I’ll start to see extended benefits in the future.
For now though, I’ll keep trudging through my workload. I’ll most likely do some stressing too.