5 Ways to Deal With People Who Put You Down For Pursuing Your Dreams
I used to have an ambition.
When I was young, I tried to be a painter. I drew everyday. I even got pretty good at it. I felt like I was able to make a living out of it.
Out of excitement, I decided to share this ambition to my friends and family.
And I was shocked by their responses.
“Why are you doing this?” they doubted. They made me insecure about my choice.
“I don’t think you can do it,” they claimed. They crushed your confidence.
“What will you do afterwards?” they questioned. They thought I was wasting my time.
I didn’t understand. Weren’t they supposed to love and support me? Weren’t my loved ones care if I was happy? Didn’t they want to see my life improve, and my dreams come true?
When Everyone Smashed My Dream To Pieces
Naturally, being young and naive as I was, I gave up.
“Told you so,” they said.
I was being judged. Everyone was trying to control and manipulate me.
I couldn’t believe people can go to such lengths to rob something away from me — something so inconsequential to them, but so important to me.
They suppressed me until I felt useless and powerless. There were times where I wanted to cry. The pressure was very nerve-wrecking.
I eventually surrendered and started believing what they say. When I realized even the “supportive” people were not willing to speak up in my defense, I gave up my last bit of hope.
And then, I realized I am alone. No one actually cared about my dreams. From then on, I decided I will make it on my own.
But the problem is, I didn’t have any idea how to protect myself from these malicious and targeted attacks.
Now I do.
5 Reliable Ways to Parry Verbal Disapproval
So long as you are pursuing something worthwhile, people will continue suppressing you.
And in most cases, there is no way you can change their minds.
This sounds depressing, and it is. Such is life.
The good news, though?
With some tricks, you can actually protect yourself from unsupportive people, and minimize the damage of their disapproval. Coming from my experience, I’m sure you find them useful.
Note: You need to be mindful in your daily life if you want to implement these tips below. To help you learn mindfulness, I wrote a super-detailed and step-by-step guide on it. Click here to download for free.
1. Blatantly Ask For What You Want
When you share your dreams and passion to someone, what do you want from them? You want their encouragement. But most of the time, you don’t get it.
Because you didn’t really ask for it.
Before you share your passion, explicitly ask for support. Tell them, as specifically as possible, what exactly what you want to hear from them.
“I want you to support me.”
“I want you to be excited for me.”
“I want you to say you believe in me.”
“I want to hear you say you are happy for me.”
When you do this, you are actually screening for supportiveness. If the person refuses to encourage you, you then have the option not to be open about your ambitions, thus avoiding harm.
2. Exploit Criticisms To Your Advantage
We tend to blindly dismiss our oppositions the way our oppositions dismiss us. You often think more positively than you might want to. Not that it’s a bad thing, but realize that all noble endeavors are inherently risky.
A Chinese saying goes, “The spectator’s eyes are always clear.”
People can identify risks and impracticalities of your plans better than you do, because they are not blinded by passion. They can think with a clear head. That’s why they don’t seem to run out of criticism.
This is good for you.
Use criticism to remind yourself of the risks and dangers of your endeavor. Treat them as reality checks. This way, you will always have an idea what problems you might face when you are moving forward.
3. Tell A Captivating story
If you don’t draft and polish your story beforehand, you will come off as incoherent and unorganized. People will have a hard time understanding you. In other words, they will think you don’t know your stuff. And this triggers criticism.
Explain things in language people can understand. Get them excited as much as you do. Show them you know what you are talking about.
How important your passion is to you?
Why do you think your idea is viable?
What are you willing to give up to make it happen?
Most importantly, how can they show their support to you?
Address possible objections people may raise beforehand. Also, prepare yourself mentally, so you don’t get argumentative and confrontational when criticism arises.
Always prepare before you make an announcement, and never do it on impulse. Don’t give people more reasons to attack you.
4. Conceal Your Ambitions At All Costs
The easiest way to stop disapproval is to stop seeking approval.
Truth is, telling others about your ambitions is a poor way to get validation. Because the more you share without discretion, the more people get the chance of talk you out of it.
Understandably, sometimes you might have to reveal out of neccessity.
Yes, you may have to tell your loved ones, your investors and business partners about your plans. But not the friends and relatives you see every other week.
Always keep your goals secret. Don’t let anyone snuff out your passion.
5. Read Between The Lines
“Are you sure you can do this?” people say. “It’s very hard, you know.”
If these words come from your loved ones, often times they speak out of legitimate concern. They are not trying to put you down. They compare you to normal people, because being normal is safe. They want you to be safe. They don’t want to see you struggle, fail, and get hurt.
They love you. They actually want to support you.
If they somehow offend you, don’t blame them. Some people can’t articulate their feelings very well. It is possible that you have misinterpreted their kindness for maliciousness.
Consider the meaning behind their message. Show empathy and understanding, and express appreciation.
Don’t argue. Instead, gently assure them that you are okay on your own.
How to Realize Your Dream When the World is Against You
The world is cruel.
It does everything to crush your vision and destroy your reality. This is how the world has always worked. It is not personal.
It is like gravity. Nobody can escape from it.
The world weeds out those who succumb to its force. And those who endured till the end will rise to the top, and change the world forever. This is how the world evolves.
Unknowingly, most people around you have become part of that gravitational force. They stand against you, trying to put you down at all costs.
They may be well-intentioned. They may be malevolent. It doesn’t matter. It is not their fault. Whether they know it or not, they are all under the world’s command to put you down.
Now, you know how to handle these people. Seek their understanding, work on your story, and consider their opinions seriously. Appreciate the people who truly support you and love you.
It may not be easy at first. But with time and experience, you will learn to be tactful, and you will be able to handle suppression without getting hurt. You will have more confidence once you know you have control in social interactions. You will learn not to let anyone shake your core.
When no one believes in you, you will have to lead by example.
Act, and realize your dreams.
When people see how much progress you made, they will be inspired. And they will start to believe you.
So believe in yourself, and believe in your dreams.
Don’t stop. Don’t give in.
Because you can do it.
What To Do Next
Even if you have all the wisdom in the world, it will be useless if you don’t apply them.
We humans are habitual creatures. Most of the time, you operate on autopilot. This means even if you memorized all of what I wrote above, you will still fall back into your default behavior when the time comes.
Truth is, you can only apply the teachings when you are mindful and aware.
And how do you to learn to be mindful?
I have written a super-detailed and step-by-step guide on it. Even better, you can download it right now for free.
This free guide has more and better information than most of the meditation books on the market, including those that sell at a premium price.
Take a look at it, and you will know more about meditation than most people in no time.