Am I a bigot for thinking that lesbians are female homosexuals? Does a lesbian have the right to say she won’t have sex with a trans woman, ever? Some trans activism is directed at lesbian groups and events on the basis that trans women are excluded; is it fair for lesbians to exclude people with penises from any element of their lives? Do they have the right to do that? Should a lesbian who doesn’t want to sleep with a male-bodied person be accepted or should she be re-educated to understand that “some women have penises” (the majority of trans women take no surgical steps towards transition), and learn that “girl-dick” and “big clitties” are parts of women’s bodies too? How does this differ from homophobia? Is it okay to reject penises but not neo-vaginas? If you are a man or a straight woman, do you feel you have the right to call out lesbians who reject trans women as terfs/feminazis? Do you think gay men are transphobic if they reject sexual intimacy with people who have vaginas or surgically-constructed neo-penises? Is it okay for people to decide sexual boundaries, or should their sexual boundaries be open to challenge? How is this different from rape culture?
Is it morally wrong that my deeply-held belief is that biological sex is innate and — well, biological? Is it disgusting that I believe gender is not innate, biological, or intrinsic, but rather a hierarchy of difference that we are all socialised into from birth? I don’t believe your sex is assigned to you at birth, by doctors or parents; rather I believe that your sex is observed and noted, and that it determines which ‘stream’ you’re pushed into — male or female socialisation, meaning either you are conditioned to believe you are the rational default type of human, or you are conditioned as an inferior and different type. Is that wrong? Do you think males and females are treated and socialised the same? If that’s the case, how do you account for discrimination and inequality?
Is it transphobic for me to think that “woman” is a word with a clear definition: adult human female? Would it make more sense to you if we expanded the category ‘woman’ to include people who were born male and socialised as boys and men? If so, how should that be decided? Should women have some say in who else is included, given that it is mainly our spaces and resources which are to be shared or taken away? Should we open the door to anyone who makes the claim to womanhood, or are we allowed to screen for potential dangers, such as convicted sex offenders and paedophiles, for example? Should we just trust men when they say they wouldn’t lie about self-identification to commit crimes like that? If it’s true that anyone who identifies as a woman is a woman, then how do we maintain the rights and protections of those of us born with female bodies and socialised as inferior to those born with male bodies? Or do you think women and girls don’t need any such rights and protections?
What is the difference between a white person identifying as black, and a man identifying as a woman? Both are instances where people from the oppressor group (white/male) attempt entry into the oppressed group (black/female). Male-born individuals who claim womanhood are often presented as an inspirational example to us all. Caitlyn Jenner, born male, was even crowned ‘woman of the year’. Would we have cheered to see Rachel Dolezal celebrated as a role model for black people? Of course not; that would be racist and incredibly insulting. So why do we cheer for Jenner, a person who achieved in a sport women were barred from competing in, a person who is actually responsible for the death of a woman, a person who said the most difficult thing about womanhood was doing your nails and deciding what to wear? What is the difference? Is it wrong that I don’t already automatically understand this, as people seem to feel the difference is so self-evident as to not need explication?
Are any other transitions strange to you? Trans-age, trans-ability? Is self-declared identity the only way to tell who someone is? Is it bigoted of me if I can tell someone has been alive for 40 years, even though they identify as seven years old? Is it bigoted of me to not want that person to be in my daughter’s primary school class? Or is it always the case that self-declared identity is the only valid identity, and therefore to be respected and believed? If not always, what exceptions would you make? Is it always true for gender, but not for race, sex, class, age or ability? If so, what makes gender so different? Or do you think it’s all the same — you are who you say you are, and that’s it?
Am I pathetic for being annoyed at seeing transwomen celebrated for “breaking the glass ceiling” when they were promoted and supported and paid as men through their entire careers? Would it bother you if a male colleague was paid more and continually promoted over you, and then cheered as an example of your employer’s commitment to gender equality? Would it bother you if a women’s sport you competed in allowed male-bodied athletes to compete on your team? Or on an opposing team? Would you want an advantage to compensate for their natural advantage in heart and lung capacity, size, height etc.? Or is it transphobic to support women-only sports teams? Was it okay for Fox Fallon to beat Tammika Brents to a pulp — a fair fight?
Should the law have some way of distinguishing between those born with male bodies and those born with female bodies? Is it bigoted of me to refuse to use Ian Huntley’s new female pronouns? Should rapists and murderers be moved to the women’s estate if they identify as women? Should their crimes be counted as female crimes? How will we understand and prevent male violence, so pervasive in our society, if we have no way of seeing and evidencing male violence? Is it hateful to state the fact that nearly all rapes and most violence is perpetrated by males? If a trans woman rapes you with their penis, is it a hate crime to not use the rapist’s preferred pronouns in court? When describing sexual assault should a victim say “penis” or “clitty” so as not to upset the rapist’s feelings? Does it matter? Do you see the potential for further abuse and gaslighting of victims here? Especially given we are talking about a system that already favours rapists to the tune of a 6% conviction rate? Or am I being paranoid and discriminatory towards trans-identifying abusers and rapists?
Is it wrong that I don’t call myself “cis”? I believe gender is not innate but simply a set of sex-role stereotypes, which I don’t identify with at all — am I mistaken? Is this a logical mistake or a moral one? Or am I right? Can someone explain why biological women are “cis” even when they are extremely gender non-conforming butch lesbians who explicitly do not identify as cis? If gender identity is innate and fixed, then why don’t I feel it? And why are others confused about what their gender might be, or experience it differently every day? How do you know what it feels like to be the opposite sex to the one you were born? How do you know what ‘woman’ feels like? Is ‘womanhood’ really just a feeling some people have? Or is it the lived experience of an adult human female? Is it true that it’s transphobic to talk about menstruation, menopause, pregnancy and female biology in general because it excludes those born with male bodies? Do you support vandalising a women’s library or beating up women who talk about their bodies as female bodies? Do you agree with some trans activists that women who underwent FGM as children are transphobic for talking about their experiences? Do you think that a male-born person who has lived most of their adult life as a man and now identifies as a woman is right to tell a woman who survived FGM that she has privilege over them, because she was lucky enough to be born female?
If a small child expresses an interest in toys, clothes, or activities that you or others believe are the preserve of the opposite sex, should you be concerned? Would it be ridiculous to let the child wear what they want, play with what they want, and express themselves however they want, because none of those things tell you anything about sex or gender, only personality? Or do you think, for example, that if a male child consistently chooses from the ‘pink’ box, that they are really, deep down, a girl? Do you believe you can be born in the wrong body? And do you think that is a healthy belief to inculcate in children? Would you tell a child there was something wrong with their bodies, “god made a mistake,” they were fundamentally wrong in themselves because they rejected the things stereotypically associated with their sex? Do you think some parents would prefer their child to be trans than gay? Are you okay with untested off-label drugs being given to children who express dysphoria with their bodies? Should a seventeen year old girl be encouraged to have a double mastectomy — and should detransitioned girls and women be silenced when they express their regret for having done this? Should journalists not be allowed to talk to them or report on studies concerning detransition? Is a lifetime of medical dependency and extreme surgeries really the best way to be your own authentic self? Is it transphobic to investigate whether Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria can be resolved without medical or surgical transition?
Is it offensive of me to ask these questions? Should I be allowed to have questions but not allowed to ask them in public? Or am I asking the wrong questions? But if I am asking the wrong questions, how will I get the answers to the questions I have asked? What questions should I be asking? Should I, as a socialist feminist artist writer, automatically know the correct answers to these questions? Does the fact that I am asking these questions only prove to you that I’m a terf/feminazi/bitch/idiot like you thought I was? Would you be able to answer any of these questions? Or can you show me a place where an assumption unravelled will enable all these questions to be answered clearly? Do I need to change my understanding of scientific facts? Are facts transphobic? Should I just stop asking questions and accept what I am told, even if I don’t understand it? Do I have the right to ask? If a trans woman were to ask these questions, would it be transphobic? Does the fact that some of my understanding of trans issues comes from gender critical trans women mitigate my transphobia or make it worse? Would you take these questions more seriously if I identified as a man?
