Organized? What’s That?

28 August 2014

So yesterday things got a little tense.

But first, some context.

In the past few days I have been getting ready to pack and move to a new room space somewhere not too far from where I am currently renting. Everything is mostly in boxes now therefore the only major effort is making time to shove everything into the car, driving to the new location, and heave everything upstairs to the 21st floor. No big deal, right?

Julian — being the closest and strongest person I know and have — is naturally pre-ordained to help me with this. However in this week that we are attempting to move my stuff, there is everything else in life happening: Prayer Support Group, rock climbing, dinners, landlady checking in, more rock climbing, little brothers, brunches and so on. So many other things to consider, to maneuver around skilfully. Being me, my idea of being organized is

1. Packing everything up efficiently
2. Inconvenience least people possible
3. Not make this move a big deal / event
4. Do it gradually so it will hurt less (both physically & mentally)

Let’s just say this did not sit well with Julian. Credits to him though, this boy is a wall of patience. He is like a giant Zen when it comes to dealing with my crap. It took him awhile (meaning probably many days) to express how much it did not sit well with him. So yesterday things got a little tense. My genius plan of gradually moving a few things at a time over the span of a few days perturbed him. It is inefficient, he says. Unorganized. Unplanned. Also he indirectly expressed that I was greedy trying to still comply and attend all these other events beckoning my attention.

It was a learning point for us both. At the end of the conversation (which thankfully was a peaceful mutual understanding of each other’s point and agreement on plan of action), we learned that (or at least I did) our definition of organized is completely different. See, I have it all in my head, and I applauded myself for being efficient and self sufficient. Julian however thought my plan was way off, and being organized meant a one time event when the entire move happened regardless of how long it took, as long as it’s all done there and then. So nobody needs to be bothered by the thought of unfinished business.

And you know what. I can see his point, just as much as he sees mine. The difference is that he now openly disagrees with my point of view.

WHICH IS MARVELLOUS.

This is one of the incredibly rare times, maybe even the first time ever, that Julian has openly disagreed with me on a practical subject. That rare time when he feels compelled to speak up and share an honest yet maybe raw opinion about me, with me. If it wasn’t because it was a delicate moment then when we were exchanging thoughts, I would have broken out a foolish grin and hugged him right there. I really felt that we achieved something there, more than just the loving gestures we give each other every day, but feeling secured enough to share our contrasting perspectives and beliefs is in itself so invaluable.

I really felt it at the conclusion of our conversation. That this is it, this is what sharing life feels like.