Fuck off Farage

I’ve long been someone critical of Nigel Farage’s sudden ubiquity in British politics. I did it again on Friday as part of a larger point about how fascists (a category I gladly include Farage in given his meanderings about violent unrest and marches protesting against the independent judiciary) get unearned screen time, which they use (surprise!) to spread fascism. Back in 2013 I noticed that, very suddenly, Farage was everywhere. Ukip was everywhere; it was being mentioned, talked of in hushed tones as being a political earthquake in the making, as being something to watch out for. Never mind that this party had, at this point, never legitimately won a single seat in Parliament — its sole elected representation was in the European Parliament, a body which it does not want to be engaged with, and then as a transparent protest vote. We are now three years and one general election down the line, and Ukip have one MP. 14million voters, mind, but one MP — down from a high of two, both defectors from the Conservative Party. Even the Liberal Democrats in their post-meltdown phase managed to get 8 non-defector MPs in a reasonably fair fight. The Greens managed to win a seat on their own merits too, for all the good it’s done them.

Farage has achieved full national recognition while having done nothing to earn it. He is a household name but nobody can name a single concrete positive change he has actually made to anyone’s lives, despite a full seventeen years of elected office which he has, as is well known, used solely to claim expenses while not turning up to meetings of committees on which he sits. The reason nobody can name a single concrete legislative success for him is that he has none. At least Donald Trump could sell hotel rooms. He is an odious individual whose stock in trade is telling lies, talking nonsense, dog-whistling and barking his own peculiar parochial worldview at anyone who asks, a worldview in which it is him (an ex-commodities trader who has been in politics for decades) against the “establishment”, which can roughly be defined as anyone who is not Ukip or Nigel Farage. Despite all of the above and the fact that he is, in the final analysis, quite dim, Farage has been gifted platforms by our national media and his bullshit opinions given credence he and they simply do not deserve. Seventeen years in politics and he has achieved nothing. His pet cause of seeking a vote to the EU didn’t even get achieved because of him, it got achieved in spite of him and his general repulsiveness, with other (marginally) less objectionable people taking over the starring role in the campaign.

This brings us to today. Less than a week after the US election, and on Remembrance Sunday of all days, Farage had flown out to Trump Tower to brown-nose America’s new Orange Julius, and in the process offered to be a go-between between the British government and the new Trump administration (may God have mercy on our souls). The Government, as it should, promptly slapped down Farage’s kind offer while reiterating that it is actually the Government and Farage is not.

I’m sorry, but who the fuck does this jumped up little prick think he is? How dare he — how dare he — decide that he is somehow qualified to be some sort of important diplomatic figure solely because he wants to be one? How hubristic do you have to be to be a, let’s be frank, no-mark politician who has accomplished fuck all of any significance except riling up bigots and enriching yourself at taxpayers’ expense and then think you have any business at all interposing yourself between your country and another? He doesn’t represent the United Kingdom; he barely represents Ukip; the people he should be representing in the position he was actually elected to serve in he doesn’t because he’s focused on his sole real interest, that is, promoting himself. He has about as much right to represent the British government or people as I do. How fucking dare he?

More than anything else, this is what has finally — finally — led to me losing my rag completely with Farage; this newfound sense that he somehow represents anything beyond his own pisspot party, and the sheer arrogance of trying to sell himself as an unofficial ambassador to the British people (not to mention disrespect to the actual government he’s seeking to partially usurp). The man has no redeeming qualities, no meaningful elected office, no actual sense of public duty and no interests beyond self-promotion. He should be laughed at, ignored and given the exact amount of attention that his actual qualifications deserve — nil. Fuck him and all of his ilk.

This was first posted on my main site, Bloonface.net. Please feel free to follow me on Facebook or Twitter if you want more swearing and invective in your life for some reason.

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