3 short stories for 3AM magazine
- First Love
I got my first venereal disease from my first girlfriend. She got it from her third boyfriend, whom she was dating concurrently with her second boyfriend (me). Later she confessed that she’d been dating him before she started dating me, which chronologically downgraded me to her third boyfriend — the one who gave her the venereal disease, which she in turn gave to her second boyfriend, a rather small man, whose modest height allowed him to punch me in the groin without the inconvenience of crouching or digging a ditch.
2. Lesbian Attic
Not an attic full of lesbians, Lesbian Attic.
Peter the Great once visited Lesbian Attic.
No decks, he said, no sails, not even a rudimentary floatation device!
He then proceeded to inspect his favorite ship, Phil Collins, and found her condition satisfying.
3. Espionage
I once forgot the word “espionage” and so I had a thing to do and ways of doing it, but no language to put it into context.
As always in such circumstance, I searched for synonyms and metaphors, and, finding none quite right, I painted birds over the manuscript and gave the pages to the local kids, who later got arrested, tried and hung for espionage, and then I did remember, but at this stage it was too late — the pages were all ruined, out of my hands, and then there were the hanging children.
