You think of life.
It’s transcendent design.
How Day can never drift away from Night. Or Death from Life…
You probably ponder over the “unders”…
Wonders what’s left of the world’s missed “understands”.
You can never truly comprehend.
Is it just you?
Confused by the sound of laughter…
and the forced “forgives“…
Paired with forgotten “forgets”.
But it’s that pure happiness that lingers on the edges of ignorant fingertips that puzzles you. Enraged by the smiles of people above you.. haunted by those below you.
It confirms that happiness doesn’t discriminate.
It drips from the others.. every class, color, shape…
Paying rent was the only objective.
And with her customer service salary… making rent was impressive.
Yet? He always had objections..
Blue misery filled whatever space her boiling blood did not take…While he laid lazily in bed, singing the same tune of “One Day..”
Strangely enough, she used to believe him.
He’d paint visions so vivid, you just had to truly see them.
He’d stream 4K words showing just how one day, he would take all the weight… right before he’d slam the door in her face.. saying he “had a busy day, and needed some space”…
So she’d fall…
You left me before I even knew I could be missing something.
Like warm tea with no honey..
would you have made me sweeter?
Kinder? Softer? Gentler?
Would I know how to love harder?
Be less disobedient?
Are you the lost ingredient?
I feel like I was a mistake.
I feel like there is no reason for my being.
How could there be, when the one who made me couldn’t even see it?
I’ve been trying to find my meaning. My purpose.
Searching in circles.
They all lead back to you on that day.. the 28th.. when I came and…
… guess I’m taking the long route… a sharp left, an abrupt right, out, around, straight up and over it…
But forgive me if I stumble, trip and fall as I take in the view.
I need to process this feeling I have.. it’s so new.
How could it be YOU in my rear view?
Can’t remember the last time I’ve taken a trip when you weren’t with me.
Like a… a thorn in my side.
That I’ve finally removed.
A healing wound.
But…. I was just finding a way to heal around you..
I’m no stranger…
There was nothing interesting about me. I’m not tall, smart and handsome… Not particularly good at anything, nor fascinatingly bad. I didn’t have a dark past that left stains of despair and peculiar bad habits… though I do have a few… I was just me.
I don’t know what she saw or didn’t see in me. All I know is she made me feel something that was just short of a fantasy… good.
That may sound like some kind of low-grade rating but, what we often forget about feeling good is that it’s… well, it’s so damn good! It can…
Depression of The Arts