Dear Beloved

An unsent letter

The day you left, time stood still

My entire body trembled and petrified

I could not feel anything but a stinging numbing feeling

My tears froze in a state of shock

I could not cry

Speechless though my heart was screaming “Why?!!!!”

My mind wanted to understand

My being tried to grasp the reality

You were gone

Without any clear reason

Or perhaps I just couldn’t see it

Maybe my eyes just refused to see

I was frightened but numb

Emotional but emotionless

My “home” is gone

You went away

And the only thing left were walls

Just walls thicker than my fears

You were impenetrable

No matter how I tried to get through to you

You were heavily shielded

I was shattered

Nothing worked

I haven’t seen and touched you

But you were gone

And I lost my chances

We lost our chances over fear

I felt like I loved a wind

Ever present but untouchable

And now you’re gone

With all my dreams and goals of being together

All, gone

But my love isn’t

Beyond the numbness and shock

My house of love remained standing

Breathing and beating

I can feel it

It’s the only thing alive

Though I’m soaked in the reality of your leaving

The fire inside me is still burning

Determined to find you

To hold you and see you

One of these days I will cross the oceans

Until then I will let you fly

Leave and respect the space that you own

I long for you

And even though it hurts without you

I will keep my promise

I will stay true to my love for you

And one day I will find you

Until we finally meet, again

I love you with every fiber of my being

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