Dearest Beloved

An unsent letter

I wonder how you are today. It’s been a week since you last talked to me. Everyday feels like year. Time seems so slow and meaningless without you. But guess what, I cry less this time. Compared to the first and second time you said goodbye to me, I cry less this time. I cry less not because it doesn’t hurt but because I am more accepting of the fact that right now, I cannot do anything but be patient and calm as this storm of heartache passes by. I cry less not because it doesn’t pain me anymore but because I am more surrendered to the IS-ness of things. I cry less not because I don’t long for you but because I love you more than ever so I let go of control and let you be.

I still feel everything deeply and it cuts in the most painful way I can ever imagine, but I love you more than this pain, than this heartache or fear of losing you.

I love you more than my need of having you beside me and getting you back. I love you enough to not let you fly without me and discover the beauty of your being. I love you enough that no matter how tempted I am to send you a barrage of messages, I won’t do that. This space between us is all yours to have, so you can be with yourself, look fear in the eye and reflect on your strength to conquer it. I do not like to influence your thoughts and emotions by the poems I have written nor by the songs I sung for you. I want to do absolutely nothing. Instead, I want to allow you to be fully present with yourself immersed in aloneness. I am doing this as well.

Of all the times we need love from each other the most, this is this moment. I send you my deepest love from a distance.

I pray that you feel its power. I have faith in you, my beloved. I have faith that that you will eventually truly open your eyes and heart to the beauty in possibilities. You are a part of me and I am a part of you beyond time and space. We are inseparable in spirit. We are eternally bound by Love. I love you with my entire being… no matter what.

Thank you for reading.

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