The Spirituality of Heartache
A personal journey to healing Part Two
Going through the heartache of parting from my beloved teaches me a lot things. It is an excruciating but rewarding path to self-discovery, an exploration of my real strengths and weaknesses. At the height of pain, I was reluctant to look at heartache this way. I was frightened that something in me would “die”, but as days went by, I developed the courage to look at heartache in the eye. The old habit of hiding from it just brought suffering, so this time, something needs to change. I feel that I am called to change from within. I am called to “get to work” and end my suffering through transformation. I am called to let go of the destructive old habit.
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” — Norman Vincent Peale
Nobody can really help me but myself. People and self-help messages are only helpful in such a way that they provide inspiration and comfort in knowing that there is another way than giving up and giving in to suffering. They are reminders of my own vulnerability, that certain things are already out of my control.
The “real” work is entirely dependent on ME and I must cooperate if I want to get to the other side, alive.
My little self keeps on telling me that my heart is broken. It wants me to feel miserable and wallow in suffering. It wants to prevent me from moving forward and give up on my dreams entirely. On the other hand, my loving and compassionate Self assures me that it is not my heart that is broken. What is broken are the stories that my mind created as a result of the lurking fear of the future.
I must let go of the lies my little self tells me, rise up and continue moving forward toward my dreams.
Through this heartache, I uncovered a gift. The gift of compassion toward myself. The immense pain of losing my beloved forced me to dive within. There is no other way but to let go of the negative self-talk and be my own bestfriend. There are unspoken feelings only I can understand, a language only my heart can speak, so I must compassionately sit with myself and listen intently. I am “the one” that myself needs now as I go through this heartache.
I am the lover that myself is seeking. I am the beloved that myself is missing.
Thank you for reading.