The Art of Being Human
I’m not used to showing my emotions and feelings. Back when I was in school, I always thought that happiness was important to me. I had pushed away my negative emotions when I was worried about exams, not wanting to listen to ballads, and trying to calm down when I failed to maintain ‘happiness’ was important. But when I went to college, things turned around. I became a whiny baby, sad over little things. Suddenly, I felt like I didn’t know who I was. And I was angry, I whined at God.
“Dear God, please remove this feeling from me. I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to feel this feeling. This hurts me. I’ve been a good person. Why are you giving me punishment?”
It took a while because I had to feel all of those negative feelings inside me. I denied, I was angry, I was sorry, and then slowly I started to accept it. One day, I felt that God had answered my resignation. If he could speak directly to me, he would probably say something like this,
“O my creation, I created you to be human. Humans are not angels who are pure and sinless. Humans are not demons who are always doing evil and sinning. I created you to be a human being. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you do good. But more than that, I put you on earth not because I am punishing you or abandoning you. But I want you to feel all the feelings when I created you as a human being. Don’t worry, my creation. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to lose your way. You are my creation. As long as you believe I am always with you, I will always forgive you. You are not alone, My creature. Let me guide you to feel all the feelings of being human, for happiness is not the important thing in your life. Let yourself feel all the feelings in your life. Because in the end, you are human.”
Written after listening to True Colors by Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick.
