Late night ramblings…
So, I’ve got tears in my eyes this very minute. Lol…maybe it’s because of this romantic scene I just saw. This guy and his girl helping each other with work, having fun and exploring love.
No, that’s not why I’m ‘sweating through my eyes’. It’s probably because I’m just tired. Really, I am. I know I should take life as it comes, but how long do I have to wait for it?
Someone I got to speak with quite often recently, thinks everything in this world is about sex. Ya…his argument is that everyone has their basic needs; food to eat, clothing and shelter. I don’t agree though, although the lazy part of me unwilling to argue just says “yes, everything is about sex” to him. But I know this is not true. Every day, a child has to sleep under a bridge in the bosom of his mother. Well, that’s if his mom lives long enough to help him navigate through the early phases of development. Fam! I’ve seen kids without clothes (daamnn, this is breaking me right now). People eat once a day and feel like they’ve got the whole world (like how do they do this?)
But maybe his point is valid, for I’ve been wondering why I’ve been working my ass out, trying to juggle several self-taught lessons at the same time, trying to appear like the perfect potential employee any and every employer should want. Whoah!!! It gets crazy when I remember I’ve not chosen a specific field. I have loads of stuff I’d like to do and be before I die. So today, I’m submitting an application to be a business developer, the next day, I’m trying to be someone’s PA. And all in between I’m wondering if I can really do these I say I can on the CVs and cover letters I send. It looks like everyone but me is doing something and I don’t like that feeling.
But then, what am I stressing for anyway?
Someone whom I think is gradually becoming my friend said “There’s too much bad stuff going on in the world for any of us to be selfish” and I very much agree with this, even though I don’t engage issues on social media.
But hey, we’ve all got to start from somewhere right? But I’m tired. I’m really just so tired. I can’t say how I really feel on social media because I’m hoping one employer might just be going through my wall. Lol…how much we’ve made a very simple life so complex and complicated.
And I hate to write all of these because since November 2016, I’ve been trying to keep my personal life and all that happens with it tucked in. It’s not like I talk much, but sometimes, don’t we all just want to write “I hung out with this person and they’re the most amazing person ever…lol”.
I’ve been having very hot baths recently. I love cold baths. I could do warm, but hot have become a necessity to wash not just my body, but my soul as well.
I know I’ll be alright. I’ll try to slow down. I’ve removed all those “describe yourself” they do on social media.
I think from now henceforth, what we’ve done, what I’m doing and what I ascribe to do, is what would define me.
And I’ll try in my own capacity to make this world a better place, somehow.
#deuces
