Nick, you are an incredibly lame person.
Asking someone to humor your petty, irrelevant musings is rude and immature. Absolutes while ordinarily unobtainable have a universally understood meaning — to piss you off, I am now going to misuse universally by adding that of course it isn’t understood by everyone.
In fact, universality is another ideal that is simply achievable yet rightly understood, that is to say, “independently conceived” in their own way by any human with a brain.
Of course, you know all this. You’re just wasting the author’s time.