How to stop midstream?
Struggling with a thing, really could use some help. Here I am asking not telling… I don’t have an easy strategy for this but it is coming up more and more.
The last 24 hours, I find myself sitting for long periods of time with a person, usually it is only one in the bunch, who focuses on telling me all their stories and opinions. Most of these opinions are strong in nature, extremely polarizing, often times offensive to my own person and certainly offensive to other people if they were also present. For some reason I keep sitting there, smiling, wondering what I can say or do to move the conversation to a new topic or a new way of looking at the current topic that would open a true dialog between the present parties in the room. Rather than some ONE talking to ME about THEIR opinion on a extreme diametrical topic.

At some point in the mix, an opinion does come up… where I feel like there is an opening. But this always seems to fuel the flames of extremism and makes them louder. Or if I demonstrate my curiosity then it seems to provide a brighter spotlight on them and that amplifies.
What I want to say that I don’t is:
I would like to hear what X, Y, and Z think about the topic. Could we hear from them?
Or more importantly:
What is it like telling me about this? I am impacted by how animated this topic has you… what are you experiencing as you are telling me this? Is it fury or excitement or passion or anger? I simply want to get to know you better, would you tell me this part of the story too?
What hurts the most is, I want to be closer to these people. I truly believe there is room for strangers to become friends in only moments. But I am not succeeding in self-care while in these kinds of opposing interactions. And what is more true is that I want to withdraw myself and exit either physically or totally in the mental. And that doesn’t bring us closer at all! I wonder what they are experiencing in the feel of those moments when the rest of the group in the room are making no eye contact.
So, there it is. What would you say? How would you deal with this situation, genuinely and effectively?
